The Father

The Father ★★★★★

god. what a sobfest.

i lost my grandpa this week. he had such a full life up until the very end. so much that he didn't suffer at all, and only we were left with the struggle of dealing with the shock and the surprise of him leaving us so unexpectedly - if passing at 87 can ever be considered unexpected. we hurt, as a family, but we're left with the consolation that he didn't. he was happy doing what he loved until that funny feeling in his chest took him to the hospital, where he passed peacefully in his sleep a couple of days later.

my grandma on my mother's side wasn't as lucky. she developed alzheimer's in her last years and even though i was too young then to remember it clearly, there is something very familiar about the depiction of this illness in the father. i remember my mother smiling as my grandma spoke about the past as if it were the present. i remember my dad driving her home when she refused to stay at our place, and then waiting right outside her house for her to call my mom and beg her to let her stay over because she didn't want to be alone. i was in the backseat sometimes. we listened to music and i played with a doll to pass the time, but it generally didn't take too long until my mom called to say "she's ready".

fuck dementia. this movie is heartbreaking and terrifying and i hope this never happens to someone i love dearly again.