• Halloween Kills

    Halloween Kills

    ★★★

    ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴋɪʟʟ ʜᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴsᴄᴇɴᴅs 

    Michael Myers just kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and kills and i love it

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★★★½

    Jamie Lee Curtis is literally the only certified gilf

  • Dave Chappelle: The Closer

    Dave Chappelle: The Closer

    ★★★★

    for norm :’)

  • The Car

    The Car

    ★★★

    ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ’s ᴇɴɢɪɴᴇ

    As a kid. It was just pretty fucking cool to have a horror movie with a hero named Wade in it and played by none other than James Brolin! So in a few ways I still get nostalgia when viewing it again and I can’t help but enjoy it like I did all them years ago.

  • Thinner

    Thinner

    ★★½

    ᴇᴀᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʏ

    One of the first books I read from King back when I was a kid. I really liked it and was stoked to find out there was a movie based on it. I can say I liked it more back then. There is some cool moments to see on screen from the pages but I couldn’t get over the cheesy over-the-top tone of it all. I found myself laughing more than being in suspense. Which is how most…

  • A Return to Salem's Lot

    A Return to Salem's Lot

    ★★½

    ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴍʏ sᴏɴ ʙᴀᴄᴋ

    Listen. It’s nothing like it’s predecessor or remotely engaging as it was. But I had a lot of fun out of this for being the schlocky mess that it is. I think it’s a great time with friends if y’all are fucked cause nothing makes sense at all but I do love the idea of making a bible for vampires. I mean it’s silly sure, watch the movie. But I think if they had more…

  • The Night Flier

    The Night Flier

    ★★★

    ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴛɪᴛᴇ ғᴏʀ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ɪɴᴛʀɪɢᴜᴇs ᴍᴇ

    I actually saw this once when I was a little kid and was very intrigued by it—even kind of scared of it. After that day I haven’t seen it up until here recently and to think of it I haven’t really heard anyone talk about it that much either. It’s kind of a shame cuz it’s a decent little horror flick aimed at the violent hungry tabloid media. Which yeah it’s pretty on the…

  • Deadly Friend

    Deadly Friend

    ɪ ʙᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɢɪʀʟs ᴛʜᴀᴛ

    Kristy Swanson if your free this weekend give me a call. We can play some murder ball anytime.

  • Doctor Sleep

    Doctor Sleep

    ★★★★★

    ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ's ᴀ ʜᴜɴɢʀʏ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ

    THE DIRECTORS CUT

    Flanagan crafts the best continuation version you’re ever going to get out of a lovechild conjured up from the minds of King and Kubrick. This is most likely one of my favorite horror films ever made!

  • Escape Room: Tournament of Champions

    Escape Room: Tournament of Champions

    ★★½

    ɪ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ sᴜᴄʜ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ ʀᴏᴏᴍs ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ

    So I just found out that there is an extended cut of this! And I’m kinda pissed off that I didn’t notice that when I started watching this version. So this will be the theatrical cut review and some time this month I’ll get to the bigger edit. They say it’s an extra 30mins long which makes sense why the movie is so short and the pacing is disastrous. 

    I really had fun…

  • Salem's Lot

    Salem's Lot

    ★★★½

    ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ғᴇᴀʀ ɴᴏ ᴇᴠɪʟ

    I guess we all have that one place where we grew up. A place we longed to leave behind. A place we dreamed to avoid. To not be stripped away like the parents or the occupants that dig into it. That mangy soil you walked upon going to school. The fate of being swallowed into everything you wanted to leave behind. A place that is alive. That has watched you ever since you could walk.…

  • Prisoners of the Ghostland

    Prisoners of the Ghostland

    ★★★½

    sᴛᴀɴᴅɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴇsᴛɪᴄʟᴇ 

    People seem to be surprised to see Nic Cage in another crazy ass gonzo movie? Well the reviews suggest otherwise like come on if you don’t like his style stop watching his movies, Steven Seagal may have something for your taste then so go watch some of that.

    The film is not perfect but it was a cartoon whacky time that I really enjoyed especially with the supporting performances of Sofia Boutella and Bill Moseley. It’s a big dumb kinetic acid trip that has Cage laughing maniacally in the middle of it all and I’m laughing with him.