Victor has written 10 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • Tales of Ordinary Madness

    Tales of Ordinary Madness

    ★½

    I wonder if Ben Gazzara lived long enough to regret this.

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    LATER: I also wonder if Bukowski was anywhere near this awful to women, or if it’s just how the self-aggrandizing ravings of a guy who hates himself brought to romanticized/formalized life by an Italian sleaze impresario looks. Something like that, hopefully, because the fiction C.B. wrote that sticks with me is just as driven by dry, funny-sad self-deprecation.

    Whichever. Is it too much to at least hope there was a cop and/or a lawyer on set?

  • Good Time

    Good Time

    ★½

    High on its own supply.

  • The Mighty Gorga

    The Mighty Gorga

    ★½

    Come for the animal exploitation, stay for the looting.

  • The House of the Dead

    The House of the Dead

    ★½

    Nice to see Charles Aidman get a shot at a leading role, but this is just cheap looking and agonizingly dull.

  • The Naked Zoo

    The Naked Zoo

    ★½

    The dreggiest of late-’60s exploitation dregs, and pretty putrid no matter how high your tolerance for sleaze may be. Grefe’s horror movies are silly and dull, but for the most part they’re entertaining, unchallenging fun in small doses. This is just mean, both to Hayworth (who seems game but also oblivious to the crud she’s slogging through) and particularly Spain. Grefe nails the degradation that drives Hag Horror, then, but the other key ingredients of the subgenre — admiration and…

  • Crowhaven Farm

    Crowhaven Farm

    ★½

    A sleep-aid certain to cure even the most stubborn post-election agitation, this movie lacks the moral ambivalence and grounded adult dynamics that characterize the best of the ABC Movie of the Week entries. I blame Aaron Spelling — there's a vapid, Love Boat quality to the soap operatics here (and I say that as a Love Boat fan), and it renders the story smarmy instead of involving. The actors do their best, but only Lloyd Bochner seems to understand what sort of dog it is he's walking. Skippable.

  • The Roommates

    The Roommates

    ★½

    Long on screed, short on eros. Don't know about you, but I prefer my sex romps with a little less — no, a lot less — chatter; a dude made this, for real? Anyway, a necessity for Pat Woodell completists (just me?).

    Beautiful print available on YouTube, here. Get it while it's... lukewarm.

  • Savage Weekend

    Savage Weekend

    ★½

    Savagely amateurish — the boom mic deserved a cast credit.

  • The Brainiac

    The Brainiac

    I passed my admittedly high "that's so cheap it's surreal and upsetting!" threshold on this one about the time I turned 6. Now I watch it for Abel Salazar, who somehow appears suave and superior even when he's daintily eating something — yogurt? cottage cheese? definitely looks dairy — that's supposed to be human brains. Ariadne Welter's a bonus.

  • The Giant Gila Monster

    The Giant Gila Monster

    Deducted half a star for Don Sullivan's performance of "The Mushroom Song" (a.k.a. "Laugh, Children, Laugh"). There aren't enough mushrooms in the world to make me sit through that again.