Climax ★½

* A lot of people I respect like this movie. This review may or may not be making fun of them.

"Oh my god YMS who nitpicks everything totally praised this movie without picking it apart it must be incredible and without flaws!"

"Wow the style of this movie is so consistent on a technical level, Gasper must truly be a visionary, an auteur, a genius, a god."

This film is thematically banal, near-pointless, and toward the end downright laughable. I almost liked it early on, then it painstakingly became tedious...bullshit - in my opinion. Style over substance and beyond BAYBAY! Pull out your pretentious pens everybody, write down some superlatives and express how this monstrosity made you feel (with hyperbole) WoO O oo oOO oO oOoo OoO!!!

There's a certain character's name, who did a certain thing, which is the most hilariously elementary attempt at being meaningful, that I'm just going to assume it's a little joke. But anyone who says the movie is being brilliant because of this character's name, give me an effinn' breeaakk, you goofballsss.

Nothing against the actors here though, they're all good. It's the characters and the meditative nature of the film that blows my mind, in a bad way.

ALSO - I got physically sick after watching this, with nausea, unsure if I would throw up for quite a bit, unable to nap even—as I often do with movies I'd consider gross. But before people comment saying this just further proves the validity of the movie (which people often do, and it's always dumb), other movies that have made me sick:

-Mother! (similar, but more meaningful than Climax)
-Nocturnal Animals
-The Neon Demon
-Don't Breathe
-Like 10 Game of Thrones episodes
-All of those laughably bad Saw movies (even the first one, which I genuinely think is straight up trash—and it just goes swiftly downhill from there).

And pretty much anything with shock value, no matter how dumb; there's a reason I will never watch those Human Centipede movies all the way through (other than the fact that they are totally bullshit exercises in sadism).

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