• The Hitcher

    The Hitcher

    ★★½

    I have a very vivid memory of seeing the remake of this on one of the movie channels we had when I was a kid so I'd always been excited to finally check out the original. I thought going in that everything that was dumb and over the top and completely illogical and stupid in the remake was specific to the remake and that this was gonna be better and smarter.

    It's not. They really are almost exactly the same movie. This one just benefits from having Rutger Hauer and less 2007-y direction. I'm disappointed.

  • Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge

    Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge

    ★★★

    At this point it's pretty unlikely any Friedman is gonna top Doom Asylum for me but this is mostly pretty good dumb fun.

  • Creature

    Creature

    ★★

    Big old sleepy time.

  • Ace in the Hole

    Ace in the Hole

    ★★½

    I get what it's trying to say/do but I have yet to be impressed by Wilder's writing and I've been spoiled by more dynamic stuff like Network and Nightcrawler as far as these predatory media movies go. Douglas is good but this isn't one of my favorite performances of his.

  • Cop Car

    Cop Car

    ★★½

    Bacon and Whigham are great which was kind of a given but the kids are really annoying and underwritten and it just didn't really go far enough for it to leave much of an impression.

  • Fatal Exam

    Fatal Exam

    ★★★½

    This is definitely at least 20 mins too long (a good chunk of that is basically b-roll) and I'm probably overrating it but a kinda boring SOV horror will always intrinsically be more entertaining to me than a kinda boring quote unquote real movie. There's just something so charming about the deadpan delivery, bad acting, and incompetent filmmaking I can never really be too hard on these. There was a fuckin' head in the coffee table, man.

  • Beverly Hills Cop III

    Beverly Hills Cop III

    ★★★

    I'm sorry but this is the best one cuz John Saxon and the Romulan senator from In the Pale Moonlight are in it.

  • Winterbeast

    Winterbeast

    ★★★★★

    Utterly delightful and ceaselessly charming. I live for regional low-budget horror gems like this. Everything you could ever want is here.

    -Flannel. So much flannel. Sometimes flannel on flannel.
    -Adorable stop motion creatures. My favorite is when they also stop-motion the people getting killed. Literally never gets old.
    -So many obvious flubbed/forgotten lines that are left in.
    -Obvious reshoot sequences that break all kinds of film logic.
    -A genuinely great score.
    -A genuinely kind of creepy villain in the evil…

  • Creepy

    Creepy

    ★★★

    I've noticed a trend with all the K. Kurosawa I've seen thus far. He's really great at first acts but kinda tapers off somewhere towards the middle and struggles to recover. Even Pulse, which is one of my favorite movies ever, does peak a little soon. This is definitely another example of that phenomenon. It's sort of predictable cuz I guessed where it was going fairly early on but the methods it takes to get there get a little silly…

  • D-Tox

    D-Tox

    ★½

    I'm not sure why I bothered.

  • Kindergarten Cop

    Kindergarten Cop

    ★★★½

    I'd remembered this being a much broader and dumber family friendly comedy but it has a little more going for it than that.

  • The Last Matinee

    The Last Matinee

    ★½

    Why does almost every one of these purported "giallo homage" movies seem to think the definition of giallo is just "a slasher with neon lighting"? You're gonna have to try a little harder, pal. There's more to it than that.

    It wouldn't even really bother me if this wasn't mostly just so fucking boring. Terribly paced. First kill doesn't happen until the 30 min mark. In a just barely over 80 min movie that's far too late. The kills are…