• The Happening

    The Happening

    ★★★★

    How the hell does this movie exist.

    How did it get the greenlight, make it through production and get a theatrical release?

    This movie is just a whole load of hilarious what the fuckery. I don't know why it took me 13 years to see this.

    This movie should not exist but I'm so glad it does.

  • Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

    Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

    ★★½

    "Wait, they made a third GI Joe movie!?"

    In years to come this will be the only thing ever uttered when the GI Joe franchise comes up in conversation.

    This movie is destined to fade into obscurity.

  • Jungle Cruise

    Jungle Cruise

    ★★★

    Me: Mum can we have The Mummy (1999)?

    Mum: We have The Mummy (1999) at home.

    The Mummy (1999) at home: Jungle Cruise (2021)

  • Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage

    Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage

    ★★★★

    Real life Lord of the Flies if I've ever seen it.

    Woodstock 99 was an absolute SHIT show.

  • Jolt

    Jolt

    ★★½

    This movie is the definition of "cheugy"

  • Bedazzled

    Bedazzled

    ★★★½

    Day 1 of our states new lockdown. My girlfriend and I committed to watching a trippy mindfuck type movie. After indecisively scrolling streaming platforms for half an hour we just said FUCK IT lets watch BEDAZZLED.

    Bedazzled is always a fun guilty pleasure full of 2000s nostalgia.

    Brendan is such a loveable dude and most of his characters in this get a right laugh out of me.

    This is the kind of movie I have to watch every few years…

  • Gunpowder Milkshake

    Gunpowder Milkshake

    ★★★★

    Michelle Yeoh, Karen Gillan, Lena Headey, Angela Bassett and Carla Gugino slaughtering the fuck out of bad guys. This movie is a straight up MOOD.

    If you remotely enjoy John Wick, Nobody, Atomic Blonde, Guns Akimbo and the likes... this movie is for you.

    The colour palette coupled with some good song choices (looking at you Joplin), some hilarious moments and some bonkers kill shots makes this movie a great time in the cinema.

    I was also picking up some Drive and Cyberpunk vibes at times which added to the whole aesthetic they were going for.

  • Ran

    Ran

    ★★★★

    The whole movie Lord Hideotora looking like he had a 48 hour heroin bender and he's wandering looking for his next hit before the withdrawals kick in.

  • Space Jam: A New Legacy

    Space Jam: A New Legacy

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Things that happen in Space Jam 2

    Lebron and Bugs Bunny hijack Marvin the Martians spaceship to go on an adventure to recruit the other Tunes for the basketball game.

    They go into an Austin Powers movie to recruit Elmer Fudd that has replaced Mini Me

    They go into Mad Max Fury Road and partake in that massive car chase with the War Boys while recruiting Roadrunner and Coyote who are running along with the cars

    They go into Casablanca…

  • Black Widow

    Black Widow

    ★★★

    I think Black Widow fits into the middle of the pack of the MCU movies.

    Nothing mind blowing or MUST SEE happens. Its just a nice time, takes it easy and introduces some cool characters. There's no big stakes that leave you on the edge of your seat.

    Taskmaster was absolutely wasted, David Harbour was a joy to watch.

    There was some cool fight choreography and some decent backstory to add to Widows lore.

    Oh and the opening credits, I loved those!!

    Florence Pugh joining the MCU is my favourite take away from this. Cant wait to see what she becomes.

  • F9

    F9

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The Tokyo Drift crew shot Roman and Tej in a Pontiac with rockets into space, they drove into a satellite and was saved by the ISS and made it back intime for the BBQ at the end of the film.

    Dinosaurs in the next one?

  • Those Who Wish Me Dead

    Those Who Wish Me Dead

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Ok, but why were the people after the kid and his dad??? Who is Tyler Perrys character?? How come he's only shown once but we are supposed to think he's important?

    Either nothing is explained or I missed it!!