• Fools Rush In

    Fools Rush In

    ★½

    Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek have no chemistry, sorry.

  • I Love You Phillip Morris

    I Love You Phillip Morris

    ★★½

    It has pretty stereotypical views and depictions of LGBT people and I’m not usually one for black comedies, but in general it’s an alright film (one of the many average Jim Carrey comedies) and Ewan McGregor is the love of my life.

  • A Quiet Place Part II

    A Quiet Place Part II

    ★★★

    Just as well directed and effective as the first film, which for the record I love, but not as strongly written by half. There are continuity errors and ties that both come out of nowhere and also don’t lead anywhere. It also suffers from sequelitis just a tad, where a sequel strives for bigger and better but ends up being weaker and worse. A Quiet Place Part II has a lot of problems, yes, but it’s emotionally fulfilling from the word go, and that’s something.

  • Insidious: Chapter 3

    Insidious: Chapter 3

    Far and away the weakest and least effective Insidious movie. The family from the first two were so interesting and I felt so much for them, but now all we’ve got is leathery faced Dermot Mulroney, a generic final girl, a trilogy playbook run thin, a confusing timeline, and an almost complete lack of scares. I know you’re better than this, Leigh Whannell. Come on.

  • Insidious: Chapter 2

    Insidious: Chapter 2

    ★★★★

    Not nearly as strong as the first film, but I’m still genuinely shocked at how scary and well thought out the Insidious movies are. It just needed maybe one more run through in the screenwriting department, especially with the main female antagonist.

  • Host

    Host

    ★★★★½

    Guess you should’ve listened to the fucking medium, huh?

    Really scary and effective though, in spite of everything.

  • Bo Burnham: Inside

    Bo Burnham: Inside

    ★★★★

    Almost Spike Jonze-ian direction from Burnham. Not his best special, but that’s not saying much and also his beard is hot.

  • Cruella

    Cruella

    ½

    9

    *exasperated and breathy* Fuck you. *long, shaky breath in; exactly as exasperated and breathy* Go fuck yourself, Disney.

    This isn’t the worst Disney remake but it’s probably the one that disappointed me the most, because the marketing promises so much. It looks so punk inspired. Which, I mean, I certainly don’t like punk, but at least it’s different from the vacant onslaught of remakes that came before it, each less creatively ambitious than the last. They’re finally breaking out…

  • Friends: The Reunion

    Friends: The Reunion

    ★★★½

    Yes, I cried. Shut up, I had my reasons.

    I’m not too good for Friends and I’ve never been too good for Friends. This was really nice, if a little bloated.

  • The Truman Show

    The Truman Show

    ★★★★★

    Astonishing.

  • Toy Story 4

    Toy Story 4

    ★★★★

    Blank Check commentary.

    I was as upset about the existence of a Toy Story 4 as everyone else was, but I’ve made my peace with it. It’s by far the weakest film in the series, but Woody’s arc is way better set up than people give it credit for, and the animation really is gorgeous, even for Pixar, which has a history of incredible animation of nothing else. Not everything works for me, especially Buzz’ voice box arc, but even…

  • Toy Story 3

    Toy Story 3

    ★★★★★

    I cried for the last fifteen minutes straight, even with the Blank Check commentary.

    If you don’t think this album is at least nearly perfect, drink my blood.