michael “the crying of lot 69” heimbaugh

michael “the crying of lot 69” heimbaugh


You’ve been chosen as an extra / in the movie adaptation / of the sequel to your life

Favorite films

  • Uncut Gems
  • Nowhere
  • Do the Right Thing
  • Turkish Delight

Recent activity

  • Pain & Gain


  • Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century


  • Ben Folds Five: Spare Reels


  • Ben Folds Five: The Complete Sessions at West 54th


Pinned reviews

  • Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

    Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

    Hooptober VIII: Jason Tobes Manhooptan
    (1 film set in the woods)

    “The Bermuda Triangle—that’s a place created by hysteria…”

    “Video doesn’t lie, Kim. Film does, though…”

    Metacinema of the highest order. What could have been—and indeed continues to be dismissed as—a thoughtless cash-in on a global horror phenomenon takes on a life of its own, becoming a grand meditation on global horror phenomena themselves. It reminds us, as its predecessor did, that the scariest scenarios are the ones we…

  • Roadgames


    Hooptober VIII: Jason Tobes Manhooptan

    (4 films from 1981—4/4)

    “Don’t you wanna know how he thinks—get inside his head?”
    “I’d like to get inside his friggin’ lunchbox!”

    Holy fucking shit, how are we not talking about this movie literally all of the time?? I will make this cult canon immediately or I will die trying! By this time next year I wanna see couples everywhere dressing up as Quid and Hitch for Halloween—I will it into existence!!

    Gobsmacking. What…

Recent reviews

  • Pain & Gain

    Pain & Gain

    “What they did to you was un-American.”

    The part where Tony Shalhoub gets tased and a massive, glorious loog shoots out of his mouth like a biblical flood in breathtaking slo-mo—Bayhem in a nutshell, baby.

    A douchebag opera. Goodfellas for every juicehead rise-‘n-grind jackass who grew up misinterpreting their favorite gangster movies. A disgusting, sweaty, beautiful splatter-portrait of America at its most self-serving and shamelessly vile, vomited into existence by the only man brave/insane enough to create a truly honest depiction…

  • Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

    Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

    Just your typical Canadian-Italian synth-banger creature feature, nbd. The Universal Monsters got nothin’ on my my big handsome boy Yeti (Yeety? Yay-tee?), a gargantuan-nippled cross between a Neanderthal, a glam metal frontman and Jesus Christ—capable of murdering villainous goons with his foot and healing mute kids’ injured dogs with his saliva. Such a good, handsome, kind boy!! ❤️

    Screening #3 with the Crudbuddies/Timebandits

Popular reviews

  • Flight of the Conchords: Live in London

    Flight of the Conchords: Live in London

    🎶 They used to be slayin’ and slayin’ and slayin’, and now they’re gayin’ and gayin’ and gayin’

    All my love and respect to queer icons Stana and Anats.

  • Proof


    Collab #21

    “I’ll see you around.”
    “So to speak.”

    Blood Moon looks like a pretty fun movie imo

    Apparently I’m a sucker for early 90s Hugo Weaving vehicles. Proof can’t quite decide whether it wants to be a buddy comedy/romcom between Weaving’s blind photog and a foxy young Russell Crowe (third-billed for possibly the only time in his career) or a psychological thriller involving obsessive housekeeper Geneviève Picot, so it settles for a very satisfying and dreamlike mix of the two, augmented…