• Willy's Wonderland

    Willy's Wonderland

    Sure, it’s billed as a comedy but I don’t for one second believe that anyone can intentionally craft something so genuinely bad it’s brilliant. Also credit to Cage who’s just the undisputed cult film King at this point, another instance where he just vibes his way through a film, this has got ridiculous The Room style potential

  • Zola

    Zola

    ★★★½

    More Soderbergh than even Soderbergh himself could pull off

  • Fear Street: 1666

    Fear Street: 1666

    ★½

    I, for one, loved this 5 plus hour trilogy which is little more than a reminder of the significantly better horror films I could’ve been watching!

  • The Purge: Election Year

    The Purge: Election Year

    Since the ability to experience joy in my life has vacated recently, I’ve finally been able to subject myself to the dregs of what the Purge series has to offer and I’m completely stunned at how they ever made a success out of it, honestly the most infuriatingly inconsistent, centrist/liberal dross. The bar for political satire or commentary is genuinely so low

  • The Forever Purge

    The Forever Purge

    ½

    So, for the duration of its runtime, little old me was sat pondering how a film could possibly be so overtly racist, ultra-conservative, shallow, inconsistent, cheap in its overall quality and ridiculously bad on the visual front. Then, as if by magic, all my questions were answered as Michael Bay’s name popped up with a “Producer” credit! I’d treat this film with the advice it gives the in-world citizens as the Purge alarms begin to ring: stay at home and avoid it at all costs.

  • Last Man Standing

    Last Man Standing

    ★★★

    I’d gel a lot better with his work if Nick Broomfield didn’t come across as the documentary making version of Tim Westwood.

  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    Staggeringly impressive that you can turn mindless, intense gore porn into something so bland that channel 5 would be ashamed of producing it.

  • Those Who Wish Me Dead

    Those Who Wish Me Dead

    ★★½

    At this stage, I’d suggest your winning formula is to let someone else direct a Sheridan script, with the exception of Stefano Sollima who’s proven himself useless at that task

  • When Saturday Comes

    When Saturday Comes

    ★★★½

    Decent enough overall but some of these South Yorkshire ‘accents’ are genuinely a regional hate crime

  • Tom Clancy's Without Remorse

    Tom Clancy's Without Remorse

    ★★½

    If I had any expectations at all, they were set incredibly low and yet remarkably, even those weren’t met. 

    I’d propose the drinking game of shots every time a lazy espionage/action trope is on screen but I’d imagine the fun of that would be sapped after 10 minutes, reaffirming - not that I needed it, nor should anyone else at this stage - how much of a hack Clancy was. From the dead wife to Russian involvement and a high…

  • Rose

    Rose

    ★★★★½

    Went into it relatively blind and it did nothing short of blowing me away.

    Stokoe’s witting is really effective, blending genre and more niche sub genres with incredible success. Forced into isolation from a briefly explored somewhat vampiric disease which possesses the titular Rose, the couple’s isolationist lifestyle is upended when a runaway becomes their sudden responsibility. 

    Where it’s horror is concerned, it’s a perfect juggling act. Mixing visuals from Giallo, having shades of Ben Wheatley’s Sightseers in the dynamics…

  • Promising Young Woman

    Promising Young Woman

    ★★★

    I’ll get into it’s reasons for disappointing but nonetheless, Promising Young Woman did make for one of the more unique watching experiences I think I’ve had full stop. 

    Touching on that, I wish to some degree I’d have known more on the films narrative heading in, and that is, as far as I’m concerned it’s biggest undoing. Quite literally marketed as “A new take on revenge” the distinct lack of it, in any real form, is nothing short of jarring.…