I ... couldn’t finish this.
Got 45 minutes in to what I expected to be a horror comedy and hadn’t laughed once, and there wasn’t a lick of horror. Life’s too short.
I should’ve known better when this was announced as a Tribeca premiere; I have yet to see a memorable genre movie, or any movie, really, at this festival in my 7 years of attending. The entire festival is just a flood of 3-Star-Or-Less movies, half of which will…
I was really surprised to watch this and come on here and find so many low ratings although I guess I shouldn’t be. It seems like 2020 has made people harder on movies and everything else and I totally get that, but the main complaints here seem to be that it’s boring and has bad cinematography and I respectfully but firmly disagree with both!
It’s based on an anthology story I haven’t seen, so I admit I can’t speak to…
At its best, the original text, the novel It, released when I was 12, was Stephen King’s goopy gesamtkunstwerk. And I mean the word “goopy” thoroughly. It was a heavily annotated journal, completely full of the excesses and accidents of the Baby Boomers, the things that scared them and the things they imagined might save us.
But It was always frustratingly vague, and its intentions were scattered. With all the self-importance of a generational warning, IT is ultimately so self-absorbed…
Pure 80s comfort food. When I'm thinking of something to watch my mind usually drifts towards wacky 80s horror before anything else. And once it's there boy does it settle in. 976 Evil caters to my everlasting yearning for all things weird and wonderful. A roller coaster of campy carnage that hits all the right spots.
It's 1988 and you have Freddy Krueger attempting to direct some kind of gory supernatural shocker. How could it end up as anything but…
Todd Phillips: "If we talk about mental illness and celebrity culture and access to medication and violence and shit no one will realize just how fucking vapid and banal this movie is."
Audiences in 2019: "Holy shit this is the most profound thing ever and I'm an intellectual because I understood its spoon-fed messaging!"
This film jogged a memory.
The first time I ever heard my dad say the word fuck was when I had a Furby which had crossed that line into unpredictable insanity that all Furbies do eventually. It wouldn’t shut up unless it was left completely undisturbed. Our plan was to carefully lift it onto a high bookshelf and let that be its final resting place. However my father picked it up by the teal scruff on the top of its…
what makes this such a piece of shit, besides everything about it, is that Todd Phillips doesn't understand what empathy is, and he can't help but exploit, simplify, and condescend to all of the struggles that a guy like that might be going through. he is the subject of every scene in the film, yet you never get the sense that he's an actual character, just a thing whose pain is there for Phillips to fetishize. The Joker is a…
I watched the Elvira episode on this the movie still sucks but its really entertaining,
so anyway here's a recipe for The 3- Cheese Crispy Ultimate
1. spread mayo YES mayo on two slices of bread or however many you are making.
2. sprinkle shredded medium cheddar or your favorite shredded cheese on the bottom slice of bread ( entirely optional).
3. lay your two favorite cheeses slices down or one if you're on a diet ( I…
As I’ve said on many occasions I don’t enjoy watching child actors. There’s just something about their delivery that annoys the hell outta me. On the other hand I really enjoy reading horror with young characters, A boys life, It and of course Brian Keene’s Ghoul.
Anyway, the child actors here are no exception, at times I felt like hitting mute and reading over the action from my well worn copy of Keene's novel. And it tracked well with the…
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
First: opening this film with a hate crime as brutal and gratuitous as the one I just witnessed left a bad taste in my mouth that kind of soured the whole movie for me. I'm tired of seeing violence against queer people used for shock value, and this really exemplified everything that I hate about it. It felt disconnected from the rest of the story, and empty in its brutality. I did not need to see a gay man first…
Daily Horror Hunt #15 (September 2019) Day 4: Watch any horror film featuring either Vera or Taissa Farmiga, my favorite film sisters.
How is it possible for a movie to feature a man being buried alive, complete with shots of him inside the coffin, and I didn't feel anything? It's almost impossible for that not to make me feel tight in the chest and freak me out. Actually the whole movie is like that. Nothing really worked for me. Too many jump scares and it's really silly, but not silly enough to entertain me. Not enough time spent on the scares to make them effective.
Yeah, I hated this. Everything went wrong. The only positives are the creature designs and the tone. The monsters look cool enough and every shot with them is interesting enough. The tone stays consistent. It never leaves from the dark aesthetic and mood. Everything else falls flat. A pet peeve of mine is when a shot is slightly off-center or just barely wrong. That’s why I hate Dutch angles so much. Every shot in this movie is like that. Every…