maëlle

watch bad movies, have worse opinions

Favorite films

  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
  • Mamma Mia!
  • Mustang
  • Mad Max: Fury Road

Recent activity

All
  • Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

    ★★

  • Brain on Fire

    ★★

  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

    ★★★★

  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

    ★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

    Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

    ★★

    i liked when they all sat down for "movie time" and it turned out to be one of the kids projecting his dreams that were just fanfics of the other kids

  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

    The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

    ★★★★

    i just want to know what parents were thinking in the late 00’s/early 2010’s when their preteen daughters wouldn’t shut up about edward cullen, and then when they finally got dragged to the movie theatres they had to sit through hours of a teen bride using an 100-year-old man to attain immortality, questionable relationships between adults and fetuses, non-stop beheadings, mormon vampire sex, pro-life propaganda, babies thrown into fires, adoptive siblings dating each other, horrific cgi, and some of the most insane dialogue ever put to film 🥰

Popular reviews

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  • Space Sweepers

    Space Sweepers

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    a family can be a hot space pirate captain whiskey mom, a hot tattooed convict softie dad, a hot troubled rebel pilot dad, a hot badass transgender robot mom, and their tiny genetically-modified adopted daughter, teaming up to fight eco-fascist elon musk and save the galaxy 💫

  • Old

    Old

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    the original graphic novel, though flawed, was barely 100 pages long and deliberately avoided a twist or hopeful ending to be faithful to the message of the inevitability and inescapability of aging. this movie is nearly 2 hours long and pads its runtime with an ableist schizophrenic killer subplot, horrible dialogue, and a sci-fi twist and ending that totally undermine the original message. but hey, at least he kept in the, uh [checks notes] casual racism and 6-year-olds having sex?