The Conjuring 2

The Conjuring 2 ★★

It’s the return of everybody’s favourite chair throwing and door closing franchise. You have to wait less time to get to the chair throwing in this one, so that’s great. Also, we get a wild opening sequence that foreshadows the pure fun and filmic creativity of my beloved Malignant.

Outside of that, though I like this more than the first, it’s still bad. The overwhelming fake Britishness is hilarious, every accent is ear gratingly wonderful. But, the whole thing is nonsense, making up rules as it goes along with top secret ghosts who appear in dreams and paintings, can only be killed by being named but will tell you their name if you ask them. Also, the film tries to play the ‘maybe it’s all made up’ card, all a hoax, after it has spent an hour showing you chairs flying around, one giant demon (at least) and multiple apparitions.

But, like, maybe the girl is lying about all these things you’ve seen.

Though, one of the scares in this film is a grumpy old man ghost who turns the TV to a channel so he can watch Thatcher. Now that’s horror.

I do like the main couple in these films, Farmiga and Wilson have chemistry and Wilson especially is super charming. I want a movie where they are just having fun together, adopting other families while they ignore their daughter — and while Wilson does more odd jobs.

The ghost stuff in these films, I don’t care for it. Wan occasionally does wild things with the camera, as if he also is bored, but it doesn’t add much. The ghosts look fake, it’s all just things flying around and everything wraps up far too easily. Less spooky nonsense and more charming American couples, please.

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