Nobody

Dad, you already sent me those Facebook memes about good men with guns taking out bad men and the need to protect your house from foreigners coming after our family. I didn't need to watch a movie in which you think you have the right to shoot anyone you want, especially Russkies, as jazz songs play ironically in the background. Yes, I know office work is boring and spending 8 hours a day accounting makes you feel emasculated, but please, use your daydreams to come up with a less generic fantasy life than this blah knockoff of JOHN WICK & Liam Neeson's past decade. You might actually be stylish and hip if you weren't trying so desperately hard that you're covered in sweat. Your sense of humor isn't actually witty; it would help if you were genuinely able to critique yourself.

Love,

Steve