Thor: Ragnarok

Thor: Ragnarok ★★★★★

The best marvel movie by a mile! An incredible achievement from Taika Waititi who turned the Thor franchise from some bootleg, wooden, wannabe Shakespeare shit, into a genuinely sentimental and hilarious movie. He gets incredible performances from the whole cast. Hemsworth shows real charm and comedic chops for the first time as Thor, cate Blanchett is terrifying as Hela and it’s impossible not to develop a crush on Tessa Thompson’s bi icon Valkyrie. The small roles are just as memorable: Anthony Hopkins is having a blast playing Loki playing Odin and—of course— Jeff goldblum scores 25 points off the bench as the horny sociopath Grandmaster. 

This movie has an immense amount of sentimental value to me. 3 years ago, it helped me recover from a catastrophic foot injury sustained at the legions of skanks podcasters basketball tournament and, in this very moment, is providing me with guidance yet again.  

You see, Thor spends much of the movie desperate to save Asgard from his evil sister Hela, until he realizes that to save the people of Asgard, he must destroy the planet itself. 
And— after getting a very annoying email from some fucking nerd that works for this bullshit website saying I might be banned for misogyny and obscene language— I’ve realized that to save my funny, entertaining, and very popular reviews from the tattle tale losers and little Dick mods on this app, I must destroy this account. Good luck to you bitch ass pseudo intellectual motherfuckers writing boring ass reviews solely for a bunch of other snitches that get 0 pussy/dick, I’ll be getting my titties sucked and watching John wick.