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  • Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me

    Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me

    ★★★★★

    Joe Bob was so much less PC back in the Monstervision era. Guess that makes sense given where we are in the current climate. He was evidently only passably familiar with the world of Twin Peaks as he mistakes The Roadhouse for One Eyed Jacks. In fairness, there really should have been a sequence at Jacks. I didn't expect to be watching this again tonight; just stumbled upon a stream on CyTube that spliced in the old TNT Monstervision footage.…

  • What Lies Below

    What Lies Below

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A watermark genre shipping of H.P. Lovecraft and V.C. Andrews that I didn't know I needed.

    Writer/director Braden R. Duemmler grabs the teen thriller by the p*ssy and squeezes tight. Menstrual blood hasn't been this triggering or humiliatingly perverse since Carrie. Cuts close to the more unsettling coming-of-age metaphors of Bob Balaban's Parents and Brian Yuzna's Society. Stays deceptively in the shallower end of the pool in order to keep the Lifetime audience on board. Then it plunges its final girl into the darkest depths and makes her swallow hard. 8.1/10

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  • Sabotage

    Sabotage

    ★★★★½

    Blissfully gritty and violent combination of pulp action and neo noir. It's the strongest in a string of distinguished work since Schwarzenegger has returned to movies. This is David Ayer's uncompromising reaction to The Expendables and it's not for wimps. Olivia Williams and Mireille Enos turn in exciting gender-defying performances as the hard-boiled women trapped in this nightmare of throbbing, reckless machismo.

  • Aquaman

    Aquaman

    ★½

    Hollywood really seems to want to fuck fish lately. Aren't we even getting a rehash of The Little Mermaid soon?

    The saddest truth is that Aquaman is no longer just an Entourage gag. It's now an actual joke that imagines James Cameron's Avatar as it might've been cloned by George Lucas during his prequel phase. The filmmakers seem to reference Lucas's empire multiple times, especially with all the political mumbo jumbo and silly underwater creatures. Hell, we even get Django…