Smidvin

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  • The Abyss

    The Abyss

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    1. Obviously I want to star in every film I watch. This one made me go No - not worth it for a semi-dumb action movie. The disaster scenes, e.g. when the hurricane hits and their compartments flood, must have been terrifying to shoot.
    Then again, for a few million dollars...

    2. Whereas diegetically speaking, "three times normal dive pay" does not sound nearly enough. Kinda classist to assume, dumb worker crew is unanimously up for it??

    3. Me: Oh…

  • Alien Resurrection

    Alien Resurrection

    My God, this movie is actively stupid. I don't normally say this but I could feel entire sections of my brain go dark while watching, and believe me, that is a cause for alarm because I have no grey matter left to spare. Joss Whedon is such a fucking hack. When I checked how much runtime was left and saw I'd only made it HALFWAY through, I was ready for Ripley to point her gun at me and blow my…

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  • The Clowns

    The Clowns

    ★★★★½

    Stephen King:
    John Wayne Gacy:
    Fellini: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 NOT ALL CLOWNS!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

  • Je t'aime moi non plus

    Je t'aime moi non plus

    Jesus Christ, get that woman some vaseline!

    Almost genius level of idiotic. Making a movie about your gf's ass? C'est l'amour, chéri. Visual testament to the fact that Joe Dallesandro is thiccer than Jane Birkin, not like anyone doubted it in the first place.