slothtroyer has written 4 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Gorgo

    Gorgo

    LASAGNA (GORGO) An epic poem by: slothtroyer

    Eat up, son! Don't let it get cold now!
    I prefer Gorgo over food tonight, ma. Not Godzilla but Gorgo (oh hell)
    A beast reigning brick and mortar and fire down upon those brits (are Brit screams accented?)

    Give the Japanese a break! Down with the Anglo! They have barely recovered from their brush with REPTILICUS

    I saw the box in blockbuster, mother! And thought this Gorgo was a giant rodent upon first…

  • Nocturnal Animals

    Nocturnal Animals

    ELEVATOR PITCH/what Jake did last week/this movies whole fuggin plot: "Okay so bro listen to this! This total bitch who is hot but is a total dummy who doesn't even have the like courage to be a real artist like me said my book sucked and then dumped me and like totally had an abortion and moved on with her life with some dumb jock who probably doesn't even have the courage to be an artist like me either. So…

  • The Bigfoot Alien Connection Revealed

    The Bigfoot Alien Connection Revealed

    An example of the mind blowing observations made in this doc: "Man like ya know how ya dont see bigfoot or aliens very often and they are hard to photograph and its almost like they might not exist? Maybe bigfoot is an alien or like aliens are bigfoots?? Idk just a crazy Mountain Dew induced epiphany I just had! Crazy!"

    One star for bigfoot, another for aliens. No stars are for the execution of this doc. Ive had way better…

  • The Deadly Mantis

    The Deadly Mantis

    The 2 stars are exclusively because I am a sane human being and therefore LOVE the concept of a gigantic mantis living in the North Pole or whatever and I mean MANTIS is the best bug. If you dont think so you're wrong. Better than all bugs.

    I CHALLENGE anyone to get through the not Mystery Science Theater version of this with their mind still intact! Truly a movie made to be watched with Robot Friends EXCLUSIVELY! AND further more!…