slothtroyer has written 138 reviews for films during 2021.

  • The Talented Mr. Ripley

    The Talented Mr. Ripley


    No one told me we had an almost 3 hour movie about Matt Damon being an evil twink lying and killing his way to fucking Jude Law! He does not fuck Jude Law, I wont tell you what he does...

    One of the juiciest slices of cinema in every way. Spicier than hell cast, spicier than hell twisty plot, spicier than hell! A labyrinth of hot boys, death, sadness and glorious sunsets! Annnnnd Philip seamore Hoffman oh my god being…

  • Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man

    Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man

    Bella Legosi playing the Frankenstein monster! This attempt to get revenge on the popularity of Boris Carloff winds up looking like your mom doing a Frankenstein monster impression and shes all like "im Fraaaankensteinnn!" and youre this no fun nerd guy who just has to be all "mommmm for the last time! Frankenstein is not the name of the monster!" and youre all like "mom stop you look like you are slowly goose stepping and holding up two heil Hitlers…

  • Bambi



    My cat Kurt loves this movie.
    Feels less like a cartoon and more like your tv is full of gorgeous multi colored porcelain machinery that dances for your own enjoyment. God tier nature calendar times ten. A movie in the key of my grandmas house…
    One of the prettiest things you can put on a tv screen in mine and Kurts opinion.

  • Quadrophenia


    A film about the early 60s that winds up feeling like one of the truest document of punk rock cinema. Its obvious that the factions of mods and rockers in this echo the punks and new wave kids that were t large at that current moment.

    Few movies can match the full scale teenage wildness that these filmmakers instigated. You can feel the crew behind the camera shouting "action" and hanging on for dear life as they document whatever they…

  • Candyman


    Candyman <3 In small towns and surely beneath the trees of the forest we encounter the unknown, but here? Here in the city the dangers are all knowable, well lit, there are no blank spots on this part of the map. "False..." says Candyman. I adore the moment when fantasy and horror creep into everyday urban settings.

    A great looking odd lil flick that eventually doubles as a bit of cathartic wish fulfillment. I will say that the line that…

  • Spider-Man 2

    Spider-Man 2


    No one asked for this. Its been said before. No one asked for a Spider-Man movie with this much emotion, this much care in put into every little scene.

    There is something impossibly fitting and delightful about the fact that Rami, the guy who had a reputation for making weird camera rigs and movements for his low budget horror films, got the chance to have the biggest budget possible and make a crazy (pre drone) rig called "the spydercam." Genuinely…

  • Spider-Man


    Macy Gray sings at the Macy's day parade. Spider-Man uses a float that looks like a kangaroo to bounce up and fight the Goblin.
    The Goblin is now standing over me atop his glider as I type this shouting FINISH IT!

    I dont want to rate this one. All the star ratings I attempt to assign wind up feeling either too critical or two hyperbolic. Its the start of Sam Ramis gift that he had always wanted to give the…

  • The Man Who Knew Too Much

    The Man Who Knew Too Much

    "Whatever will be will be"
    The strange and haunting musical number that is shared by Jimmy Stewarts wife and son in a hotel room early in the film provides a ghostly thumping heart for this wackiest of thrillers. Its an acapella musical number, the voices are crisp and beautiful and you keep waiting for music to drift in but it never does. If anything, I truly value this moment along with the songs return toward the end in a way…

  • Days of Heaven

    Days of Heaven

    It showcases liquid gold cinematography and Linda Manz mountain top performance (maybe my favorite of any child actor) but what I walked away with this time was that ending. Its the kind of ending I adore. Anticlimactic is a word that can be used if you like, fine, use it. More of a fork in the road, a promise of things to come.

    After all the dreamy convoluted melodrama implodes in fire and hard feelings, young Linda is left to…

  • Vertigo



    Green has always been my favorite color
    But its not that easy being green

    The color Invades this melodramatic artsy magnum opus eternal weirdo of a film like the crypt keepers fog. Something out of Scooby Doo
    Should we continue to play into this green monsters hand, this swirling vortex that is truly more than a film, its an analysis machine. Connections and theories and myths and motifs reach at you from the depths of the black hole of…

  • The Legend of Bagger Vance

    The Legend of Bagger Vance

    Our Monday movie nights token republican chose this one. He made me a really good cocktail and the bowl was packed endlessly so I was pretty much as sloshed as Matt Damon was at the beginning of this movie. "Lost my swaaanng"

    Will Smith was in talks to play Neo in The Matrix. Did he say no because of Bagger Vance being on his horizon?
    Now, for our next exercise: close your eyes and go to the alternate reality where…

  • The Color of Pomegranates

    The Color of Pomegranates


    The mistake with something like this is always thinking you arent smart enough, that your inability to "get" every little thing that goes on in a difficult piece means the experience is somehow ruined. Jump in. Get caught in the storm. Like visiting a new place for the first time, you of course will be unable to fully grasp and embrace everything it offers and you probably wouldnt even if you lived there your whole life. Watching this one can…