Picnic ★★★★

I think I only really made this a 4 star review because everything that has to do with this silly ass movie should be hyperbolic and full of exclamation points!(!!) and yeah in its dumb way it is 4 stars worth of a whirl wind experience. Truly melodrama +2!!

Its a technicolor window into an alternate history that existed ever so briefly with PICNIC and kind of died with PICNIC. A world where the image of a mans bare chest being SCANDALOUSLY revealed is heavily advertised in all the trailers and posters for this movie, as if it is some kind of masculine answer to the cleavage Howard Hugh's weaponized to sell The Outlaw. Its a brief moment that seems to come from an alternate 1955 where women and gays ran the world. What a dreamland!(!!)

AND its called PICNIC. Not "The Picnic" not "At The Picnic" but just the cartoonishly ominous: PICNIC!

The old school teacher, clawing for relevance and lost youth, screams into the night with her eyes full of sheer terror: "I wanna have a good time!" Its got strong Sam Rami Spiderman Thanksgiving scene vibes at all times and I really appreciate that as a viewer. And yeah every character has a monologue and a half up there sleeve! Gaslighting! Sexist caricatures! Positive traits being framed as negative traits! Arthur Miller wanna be dialogue! The devils alcohol! its all here at this PICNIC gone wrong!

BUT dont get it twisted, while maybe a four star review is hyperbolic, there are genuine moments of beauty and some excellent filmic flourishes. I mean they were dealing with a stage play here and while some opportunities are missed, others are often taken to add dimension and visual splendor (shots of sunsets and wide open spaces and a pretty great aerial closing shot. And who can resist that technicolor glow!
Cmon baby! Just one lil drink!