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  • 12 Years a Slave

    12 Years a Slave


    I found myself in tears tonight
    I found myself in tears
    For here is captured tragedy that echoes through the years
    Man's untethered cruelty and viciousness hath brought
    A film - a song, nay testament! I knew not I had sought

    Solomon Northup, free from woes, is tricked into a plot
    Scheming cowards chain him up, leaving him to rot
    Enslaved and cut from family ties this horrid tale begins
    But in the darkest deepest pits, his freedom song still…

  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    Portrait of a Lady on Fire


    Fire Is The Warmest Colour

    In late 18th century France, Marianne is a young painter sent to an island commissioned to paint a portrait of a Lady aristocrat, Héloïse. She is unaware of it however, and Marianne has to observe her carefully.

    It warms my artist heart to see any film about drawing or painting, and this is no exception. I was initially hesitant as to how quiet and unassuming the film was, but let it be known now that…

Recent reviews

  • No Retreat, No Surrender

    No Retreat, No Surrender

    You know when you get a really strange movie craving sometimes? Well I just got the strangest one. I watched the low budget Van Damme martial arts schlockfest No Retreat, No Surrender on TV with my brother when we were teenagers. I've barely thought about it since, and suddenly one day I was just like..I need to see that again!

    Jason Stillwell is a teen (who adores Bruce Lee) learning martial arts from his father. One day they are attacked…

  • Serenity


    I'm working my way through bucket list shows and after nearly 20 years I finally got to Firefly. I had seen Serenity before but not the actual show (or, uh.. season, rather).

    In this final movie, the crew of the Serenity are still hunted by a man who wants to kill River, and look for the source of the zombie-like Reavers.

    Serenity clearly has a higher budget, which I like. No more 16:9, cheap overlit sets (one building in the…

Popular reviews

  • The Terminator

    The Terminator


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    50 fucking stars. A hundred. The Terminator is, was, and always has been one of the greatest science-fiction action thrillers ever made.

    Let me kick it off with a story or two. The first time I ever saw this movie, I would've been about 6 or 7 years old. I was staying with my dad (a shady character) and older brother in a hotel room downtown. We were all eagerly looking forward to the movie, even though my parents had…

  • Atlantis: The Lost Empire

    Atlantis: The Lost Empire


    "But, hey, you know, that's what this is all about, right? I mean, discovery, teamwork, adventure. Unless, maybe, you're just in it for the money."
    "I'm gonna say... money."
    "Well, I guess I set myself up for that one."

    "I got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whisky and lard."

    I would've never expected that after enduring what is possibly Disney's very worst film (The Emperor's New Groove), I'd come across one of their very…