• Dune



    I cannot tell you the immense relief I felt when each new scene started and I knew for a FACT that C3PO wasn’t going to wander into frame.

    A wonderful, adult scifi film. Fantastic.

  • The French Dispatch

    The French Dispatch


    Self indulgent and exhausting, but entertaining and delightful. A mixed bag, but the trail mix is mostly smarties and cheetos, so I’m not complaining.

  • Last Night in Soho

    Last Night in Soho


    Wright’s films these days are so hurredly trying to find ways to justify all of the visual flare and needle drops that story and characters become whatever he needs them to be in that scene to make it all work. I don’t understand the rules or the motivations, or the story’s logic, but it all looked pretty. Also, there are three good concepts for a film bloatedly stuffed into this and not one of them is done justice by the end.

  • The Hitman's Bodyguard

    The Hitman's Bodyguard


    There’a a 90-minute version of this movie’s that three stars. I can picture it in my mind.

  • Starship Troopers

    Starship Troopers


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    So i’m rewatching Starship Troopers the other night, right?
    And Rico makes it back to the starbase and in my mind I’m like “Oh shit! Here comes that moment where he’s getting the laser tattoo and somebody pours tequila on his arm”
    When all of a sudden Denise Richards and her new BF show up and I’m like “oh yeah, they beat the shit out of each other first”
    And out of goddamn NOWHERE Mazzy Star’s “Fade into You” starts…

  • 10 Cloverfield Lane

    10 Cloverfield Lane


    This movie is such a fun little excercise in setting up audience expectations snd then subverting them. Every performance is wonderful, and the last 20 minutes are totally unnecessary but awesome anyway.

  • The Big Fat Stone

    The Big Fat Stone

    A ferociously boring piece of self aggrandizing drivel that uses possibly the most outrageously audacious ending twist.

  • Con Air

    Con Air


    This movie shouldn’t work - it’s bloated, underwritten, the performances are nuts and the story barely follows any kind of logic. It’s a movie that can’t sing Michael Bay, but hums the tune alright, then gets bored and launches into a terrible Silence of the Lambs solo. But nobody puts this much work, and creativity, and fun into a bad movie anymore - it’s a unique thing relic of a different time, and as much as it is a cobbled…

  • Aladdin



    Robin Williams and Eric Goldberg are a team that cannot be beat.

  • Shin Godzilla

    Shin Godzilla


    A realistic and grounded take on Godzilla that simultaneously satirizes bureaucracy, presents a horrifying body-horror version of the creature, and builds a compelling human narrative with fabtastic dialogue, editing, and direction. Goddamn that night scene is so gorgeous, brutal, and terrifying.

    Shame about the “American” characters, though.

  • The Last Big Save

    The Last Big Save


    A film only in the strictest definition of the word. Mostly a recording of an actual hockey game, with some ‘scenes’ thrown in around the edges to try to add stakes.


  • The Little Mermaid

    The Little Mermaid


    Some banger songs and stellar character animation more than make up for Flounder,