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  • Amphibian Man

    Amphibian Man

    ★★★★

    Some MUSIC to accompany your sea shanty....

    Swims like a crocodile
    Has no need for an air hose, he breathes the water, itself.
    Ri-dic-ulous disguise
    a fish-boy from the Ukraine, who's pretty nice on the eyes.

    But he feels so alone, he's Amphibian Man
    His father told him to stay out of sight.
    Was a boy now he's grown, into Amphibian Man
    And he's looking for girls to excite.

    She hooked his fish eyes
    When she was swimming with sharks…

  • Humanoids from the Deep

    Humanoids from the Deep

    Everyone likes a good Christmas Carol, right?

    Maestro? Music, please?



    There's a monster with claws so razor sharp
    a living head of cabbage, and it smells of day old carp.
    Roger Corman you have done it once again,
    another genre rip-off, premise and budget both paper thin.
    Shadows hiding all the scenes that might be cool,
    but illumination shows off zippers in the suits.
    There's a monster with claws so razor sharp
    crawled out of the depths and clawed it's…

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  • The White Sun of the Desert

    The White Sun of the Desert

    ★★

    “Are we going to watch one of those movies where they don’t speak English, and you have to read the words?”
          - my 4 year-old daughter

    I guess I’ve been watching too many foreign films lately, and last night may have been my breaking point. I felt myself reaching the end of the first reel of White Sun of the Desert with a mixture of malaise and disinterest, and turned to the film’s Wikipedia page to make…

  • Bedknobs and Broomsticks

    Bedknobs and Broomsticks

    ★★★½

    Mary Poppins 2: The Bewitching

    “Just a spoonful of witchcraft, helps the Third Reich go down…”

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  • Death to 2020

    Death to 2020

    ★★

    These Charlie Brooker specials are often quite terrifying. This one asks you to imagine a world where it’s impossible for anyone to say anything funny.

  • TerrorVision

    TerrorVision

    ★★★★

    If this film was a snake, it would’a bit me. 

    How has something so “right up my alley”, gotten past me for 35 YEARS?!?!

    • A proto-Tim Burton aesthetic,
    • The big, bold, cartoon-y acting style where the characters are all nothing more than walking stereotypes
    • Gooey, drippy, rubbery practical effects that ride the line between “works of art” and “hokey bullshit” that are the reason you will recommend it to some people, but also the reason you won’t…