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  • Horror Express

    ★★★★

  • The Breed

    ★★★

  • Eyes of Fire

    ★★★★

  • Mad God

    ★★★★

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  • The Breed

    The Breed

    ★★★

    An extremely heavy-handed attempt at a Holocaust allegory through the lens of DTV buddy cop vampire conspiracy thriller, made watchable by wild swings of aesthetic ambition. A product of 2001 so leaning into The Blade and The Matrix is a given, but somehow this is also aims for classic noir tweaked with the retro-futuristic bend of Dark City, 90s big budget music video styling, and an occasional touch of Guiliam's Brazil. It also takes advantage of shooting in Hungary to…

  • Horror Express

    Horror Express

    ★★★★

    The Boys starring in a Hammer-ish old school pulp horror reminiscent of Jules Verne and turn of the (20th) century adventure stories, with nice Eurotrash-y touches, which is all extremely my shit. Shame Savalas went out like Seagal in Executive Decision, wanted more of his debauched and frothing crazy Cossack officer.

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  • Nobody

    Nobody

    I actually expected worse based on some of the pans, but yea not great. It's very cool that the guy from Bob & David hung out with the guy from Bloodsports 2-4 to learn how to fight and get thrown through a bus window, I am absolutely the audience for this set up, just wish they did more with it. Needed more like the bus and to lean harder and go darker on the emasculated suburban dad who yearns to hurt…

  • Ninja: Shadow of a Tear

    Ninja: Shadow of a Tear

    ★★★★½

    Undisputeds 2 & 3 will always have my heart as the pinnacle of Florentine/Adkins collabs, but in retrospect this is arguably their best pure martial arts film. Frequent DTV fixture Tim Man has the choreography duties and the results are insanely good, at its best moments on par with 90s Hong Kong classics.

    My only small gripe is that most of the action in the first hour is Adkins dispatching groups of randos, which looks amazing but isn't very narratively satisfying.…