• Abandoned

    Abandoned

    ★★★

    Nothing fancy about this one, just a good story about some flawed characters who bond through an extraordinary situation. Apparently this has been promoted as an action film with Dominic Purcell in the lead role and that couldn’t be further from the truth.

  • Rust Creek

    Rust Creek

    ★★

    This starts out as a watered down I Spit on Your Grave, which I didn’t like. But then it turns into a boring backwoods crime drama, which I liked even less. Good cast though.

  • The Surrogacy Trap

    The Surrogacy Trap

    ★★½

    Because I hadn’t seen Mia Kirshner in anything in a while and sometimes I enjoy some cheesy Lifetime movies. This one is about a surrogate mother who turns out to be a total nutcase. It’s typical made for TV “blank from hell” fare but kinda fucked up at the same time. Decent for what it is. Rachel Blanchard plays a good psycho.

  • Renegades

    Renegades

    ★★½

    A pretty generic odd-couple cop movie with a few funny moments, a decent car chase, and an overbearing flute score.

  • Firestorm

    Firestorm

    ★★★½

    This is what I wanted Those Who Wish Me Dead to be. Howie Long doesn’t bring much charisma to the table but at least he looks the part. Fortunately William Forsythe plays an effective enough heel to compensate. Fun stuff.

  • Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage

    Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage

    ★★★½

    First of all, fuck Coachella. Anyway, this is pretty much what I expected it to be. The festival was a recipe for disaster for obvious reasons. All this does is show you just how poorly it was ran and how it all devolved into a Lord of the Flies situation. Imagine purgatory but instead of human souls it’s inhabited by a sea of angry frat boys and body-painted women. That said, this was still an interesting watch for me. 1999 was such a pivotal year for me, so I enjoyed the time capsule aspect.

  • A Classic Horror Story

    A Classic Horror Story

    ★★½

    I didn’t think it was possible for a movie to suffer from Imposter Syndrome but here we are. If someone told me Eli Roth ghost-directed this I’d believe them. It truly feels like one of his films but in a good way. Despite being derivative of not just Roth but other sources as well, this is a fun, gory film with good atmosphere - to a point. But then the intentionally self-referential nature of it all sort of backfired for me and seemed more like a cop-out than anything else. There’s a great film somewhere underneath all of the attempts at being clever and meta.

  • Power of Grayskull: The Definitive History of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

    Power of Grayskull: The Definitive History of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

    ★★★★

    A lot of this was also covered in The Toys That Made Us (pretty sure it shares a bunch of the same footage and interviews), but this full documentary is super thorough and blasts through the entire history of the franchise. As a fan of Masters since my childhood, the nostalgia factor is obviously high, but what warms my heart the most is that the drama and shit-talking is pretty much non-existent. It’s just great to see people looking back fondly on everything - even the live action film!

  • Jolt

    Jolt

    ★½

    There isn’t much to like about this one. I didn’t really know what was happening most of the time and the film wasn’t giving me enough reasons to care. If anything, I’ll remember this for having two of the worst movie cops I’ve ever seen.

  • The Legend of Baron To'a

    The Legend of Baron To'a

    ★★½

    Despite the fact that the biggest actor in Hollywood is Samoan, there aren’t tons of roles out there for islanders, so it’s cool to see a film where nearly everyone is Polynesian (Tongan specifically). The film itself is just ok though. A friend of mine described it as Once Were Warriors meets Nacho Libre and it turns out he was strangely spot on. The cast is great, the characters are charming, but the overall tone is a weird.

  • Journey to the Center of the Earth

    Journey to the Center of the Earth

    A bonkers mess of a film. It reeks of production problems, so in that sense it’s sort of an interesting spectacle but for the wrong reasons. I didn’t know until after watching it that a majority of the footage was meant to be the sequel to Alien from L.A. (which I’ve never seen), so there’s that. Maybe one day I’ll appreciate this cinematic nightmare for all its weirdness and see it in a different light but I doubt I’ll ever revisit this garbage.

  • The Dark Red

    The Dark Red

    ★★★

    A good film despite not sticking to a genre. It’s a psychological horror film for the most part but there’s some sci-fi elements and then it sort of turns into an action movie at one point. Nothing wrong with a genre mash-up but it feels uneven here, like some nice looking puzzle pieces that don’t quite fit together.