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  • Cape Fear

    Cape Fear

    ★★★★

    Good shit but I must've watched an edited version because there was no scene where Robert Mitchum keeps stepping on a buncha rakes?????????

  • Fraternity Vacation

    Fraternity Vacation

    ★★

    A mom fainting at the sight of a group of people mooning her has to be the most 80's thing in cinema history. Like just imagine that, the sight of random, unexpected butts being so powerful you lose consciousness.

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  • Dead Sushi

    Dead Sushi

    ★★★★★

    I was in the mood for some stupid shit and boy this delivered. I remember thinking Zombie Ass was too much of a… uh… good(?) thing? But this thing really hit a sweet spot. You ever see a sushi take a bite outta YOU?! Well, that's 90% of what this movie is. Sushi takin' bites outta people and yuckin' it up like they're ghoulies doin' it. In general there's a lot of dumb cartooney sounds added in post to the movie. Smooches, farts, two sushi fuckin' on a tree… you name it. Total party movie.

  • Gamera the Brave

    Gamera the Brave

    ★★

    Way too safe and retains barely anything of what made kid-oriented Gamera great in the 60s. Shit is just afraid to get weird, and wastes a lot of time on low stakes "How to raise your Gamera." I kept wondering why there's so much Sgt. Frog in this but then I remembered this is a Kadokawa production.

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  • Ice Cream Man

    Ice Cream Man

    ★★

    My favorite piece of Ice Cream Man trivia is that they recently tried to do a Kickstarter for part 2 but only managed to get 4 out of their 300k goal and half of that came from one backer who pledged 2k to pick an ice cream flavor in the movie.

  • Battle Beyond the Stars

    Battle Beyond the Stars

    ★★★★

    "With a good script, a good director can produce a masterpiece. With the same script, a mediocre director can produce a passable film. But with a bad script even a good director can’t possibly make a good film. For truly cinematic expression, the camera and the microphone must be able to cross both fire and water. The script must be something that has the power to do this."

    — Akira Kurosawa

    "One of the space samurai has to have like, really big boobies."

    — Jimmy T. Murakami