Tenet

Tenet ★★

Someone should tell Nolan to take it easy. This shit is exhausting. Can’t believe he tried to bully people into risking their lives in the middle of a global pandemic for this pretentious snooze fest. I started laughing at one point at how predictable his shtick has gotten. As soon as “The Protagonist” (lol Smdh) entered a hotel kitchen and several dudes in suits walked in I started cracking up in anticipation for the pg-13 fight sequence I knew was inevitable. Also laughed very hard at the scene in which Michael Caine told “The Protagonist” he needed an expensive suit if he was going to be able to fool the bad guys into taking him seriously. Mind you, he was wearing a very expensive suit when he was told this. Cut to the next scene and a new suit. This felt like a parody of Nolan movies. I’m not even gonna dignify the conversation about Nolan’s time play. Let’s just say I was bored, confused, and couldn’t care less.

Seriously, people like this junk? I guess it’s no surprise. We live in a time when folks are once again fully transfixed by the Cinema of Quality. They see the endless stream of capital financing Nolan’s attempts to wed James Bond with pop physics and their eyes glaze over in a dreamy wonder.

This dude once described Inception as “Last Year at Marienbad with explosions.”

Someone confiscate Nolan’s Criterion Channel membership please. 

Also, that finale looked like a freakin’ paintball match lmao.