Justin Peterson’s review published on Letterboxd:
(2018 Summer Blockbuster Movie Series)
This is one of the rare movies I wish did not exist.
While all the Jurassic Park sequels have fallen short of the greatness of the original, JP3 is by far the worst in the franchise.
The film is just a poor excuse for just giving us some more dino action, which is the only decent part about it. The story, characters, and some of the special effects are very disappointing.
JP3 and 'Justice League' have confirmed that you should never start a movie with a bad special effect. In JP3's case the green/blue screen effect used during the close up shots of the kid parasailing are awful, with how off the background looks.
Some spoilers, but who cares this is a BAD movie!
So after missing out on Sam Neill as Dr. Alan Grant in The Lost World, I think most people were excited to see him return, but not even he could save this. Laura Dern is there too, but the writers made the terrible choice of her cameo just showing that her and Dr. Grant are just friends now, and she went off with some other guy to have a family.
Dr. Grant says he will never return to an island with dinos on it, but we would not have a movie if he did not return. So it just takes a couple saying they will pay him to be their guide, in order to get him back to the island.
We learn the couple some how chartered a plane and conned Dr. Grant and some mercenaries into going to the island with them to find their son. I generally like William H. Macy who plays the father, but he is given very little to work with. The son is played by Trevor Morgan, who mostly does an ok job, but it took me awhile to warm up to his performance since I have really disliked his bully/whiny/sarcastic characters in movies like 'The Sixth Sense', 'The Patriot' and 'Barney's Big Adventure. He ends up crash landing on the island during a parasailing venture, when their tour guides mysteriously vanish during an off screen dino attack, which leaves their boat to crash.
So the big attraction of the movie is the Spinosaurous which is just as deadly as T-Rex but has a longer arms. We get a really fun fight between the two, but it ends up being way too short and we see out beloved T-Rex get his butt kicked. There is also a decent Pterodactyl action scene too, but that's about all the good parts the movie has to offer.
Here is are run down of all the bad stuff.
- So many pointless scenes that go nowhere. Especially that weirdly comic raptor dream, and when the dino ignores them because they get covered in crap
- Shameless use of the original music with lackluster wide shots of CGI dinos
- All the jokes about characters yelling too loud on an island with killer dinos
- Making the kid's video camera work with a regular battery. And then footage they watch on it does not even advance the story.
- Stupid T-Rex pee joke
- The raptor calls sub plot. Who thought making a raptor whistle would be a good idea???
- The guy killed in the Pterodactyl fight magically being alive at the end
- The climax being a big joke by them cutting back and forth between the Spinosaurous and Barney the purple dinosaur
- The military conveniently showing up after the fact, 'Lord of the Flies' style
The Jurassic Park movies should be big budget spectacles, but this entry ends up being a half assed B movie that should not have been made!
At least it is short.
- Daniel Plainview
Happy movie watching ... SKOL!