Old ★★★½

In a year full of guilty pleasures - Cruella, Army of the Dead, Snake Eyes, Spiral, Those Who Wish Me Dead - M. Night Shyamalan’s Old is the guiltiest and most pleasurable of all.

This movie is so Shyamalan. Technical excellence and a weirdddd and off-putting script. It’s The Happening all over again. This movie knows it’s a goofy thriller, and I had so much fun. No character speaks like a human being. Dozens of lines are laugh-out-loud odd. It can be so funny, and I was into it. As for the filmmaking, Shyamalan does things with the camera that other directors simply don’t do. Stylistic flourishes, weird POVs, and more.

The premise is unique. A lot could’ve been done with it. The idea of being in a place that rapidly speeds your ageing lends itself to some potentially masterful existential horror. It can explore the idea of life passing you by, of missing out on living your life. This movie, in other hands, could have been a 10/10. Shyamalan doesn’t go for that kind of horror or pathos, he’s all about thrills and cool things, and you know what? That’s still awesome! He’s a singular filmmaker with a unique vision who clearly LOVES making these kind of movies. They’re so unique and often disastrous. But goddamn, they’re always much more interesting than the studio-mandated plastic that comes out every month.

The worst part - aside from the dialogue, which I loved but will be divisive - is the ending. It's prdictable and jarring and over-explained. Should've ended with the *MINOR SPOILER* sandcastle.

Also: this has a Short King husband and Tall Lady wife relationship, which rules

Also also: didn’t help my ever-growing crushes on Gael García Bernal and Thomasin McKenzie

Also also also: Junji Ito???

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