Favorite films

  • Starship Troopers
  • Die Hard
  • Dazed and Confused
  • No Country for Old Men

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  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    ★★½

  • No Time to Die

    ★★★½

  • Night Teeth

    ★★

  • Red Notice

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  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    ★★½

    Well, well. Who doesn't love a tight 90, amaright folks? A goofy as hell rom-com masquerading as a superhero sequel-come-inter-corporate-media-franchise-tie-in-crossover-vehicle. Even with crackhead pacing and unhinged performances, it's barely as fun as it thinks it is. 🏳️‍🌈 Venom is a vibe though.

  • No Time to Die

    No Time to Die

    ★★★½

    A fitting and mostly fun sendoff for the Craig-era Bond saga. Following up the leaden pacing and muddled execution of Spectre, Fukunaga manages to make No Time To Die feel propulsive and fresh, with a welcome return to the light-hearted quips and gadgetry eschewed by the franchise over the last decade. While Malek's Safin is largely inert as a villain and Lynch's Nomi falls flat with little to do, de Armas sparkles as the bubbly Paloma and Craig seems to be genuinely enjoying his final mission as a grizzled 00.

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  • Night Teeth

    Night Teeth

    ★★

    Looks like someone put a little bit too much Spring Breakers in their Daybreakers. A boring and mostly bloodless Collateral riff. Pass.

  • Red Notice

    Red Notice

    It should be unconscionable in 2021 to spend a fifth of a billion on a dull, lifeless film that uses the same canned Wilhelm scream twice in one mediocre fight scene set-piece. Capitalism at its finest.

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  • A Cinderella Story

    A Cinderella Story

    ★★★

    *types out LOL on a mid-00s-era flip phone*

    Hilary Duff: "Laugh out loud."

    I C O N I C

  • The Fast and the Furious

    The Fast and the Furious

    ★★★

    Is there anything that more embodies that turn of the millenium, post-Y2K triumph of The Year of Our Lord 2001, than a bunch of steamy-eyed, muscle-bound rev-heads cruising around in suped-up Honda Civics, listening to Ja Rule, drinking Coronas and trying to get that all-time, life-changing score of DVD players?