• Rampage



    Now I have to watch SAN ANDREAS and JOURNEY 2 to see if they are inexplicably just absolutely gory as fuck.

  • The Superdeep

    The Superdeep


    Was it too much to ask that they walk through just ONE fungal cavern full of giant, glowing mushrooms?

    Watched for Horror Pod Class.

  • The Princess and the Frog

    The Princess and the Frog


    I had entirely forgotten how completely haphazard the setup of this movie is.

  • Before I Hang

    Before I Hang


    Widely considered the least of the "Mad Doctor" pictures Karloff made for Columbia (I haven't seen all of the others and so can't say, but it's less than THE DEVIL COMMANDS, to be sure), if it weren't for watching that one guy play the piano, this movie wouldn't even be an hour long.

    If it wasn't for watching people looking at tubes, it wouldn't be 20 minutes.

  • The Devil Commands

    The Devil Commands


    Nonstop people getting strapped into bulbous machinery action, but you can't deny that the climactic auto-seance was anything but amazing.

  • The Catcher

    The Catcher

    It was a bold decision not to include the audience.

  • Strike Commando 2

    Strike Commando 2


    Definitely worse and also maybe better - certainly more ridiculous - than its predecessor, but I mean no disrespect to Mr. Huff when I say that Reb Brown was missed.

    There is a reason why we put our faith in Blast Hardcheese, after all.

    Watched for review.

  • Strike Commando

    Strike Commando


    Look, nobody wants to love Big McLargehuge as Rambo more than I do (he's great), but here we are.

    Mostly, this just made me wish that Reb Brown was in SHOCKING DARK.

    Bumped up nearly a full star by that goofy-ass tacked on ending. "Those Russian dentists make some pretty good dentures," indeed.

    Watched for review.

  • The Shadow of the Cat

    The Shadow of the Cat


    That this extremely odd movie got made at all is miraculous; that I haven't seen it before now, criminal.

  • Malatesta’s Carnival of Blood

    Malatesta’s Carnival of Blood


    As a narrative, it may be no great shakes, but as a behind-the-scenes evocation of (and love letter to) ghoulish, run-down carnivals, this thing is aces.

    Which is to say: Whatever you think MALATESTA'S CARNIVAL OF BLOOD is about, you're wrong, and after you've finished watching it, you'll be less sure of what it was about than you were before you went in.

  • The House in Marsh Road

    The House in Marsh Road


    When I see a book cover I like, I save it in a folder. At some point, I saved the cover of the 1955 novel THE HOUSE IN MARSH ROAD in there, and only recently was trying to figure out of the year of it and learned that it had been made into a movie.

    So I tracked down this quiet domestic British ghost story, which is a typical gaslighting plot of the era with the addition of a pesky…

  • Conan the Barbarian

    Conan the Barbarian


    A perhaps unsurprisingly formative movie for a small Orrin still holds up remarkably well.