• The Neon Demon

    The Neon Demon

    ★½

    Just watch the Suspiria remake. This shit sucks out loud.

  • Color Out of Space

    Color Out of Space

    ★★★★½

    Absolutely stellar cosmic horror but definitely not for everyone. Cage is in his fully Cage-iest ways and that can definitely be a deal breaker for some. Effects are surprisingly gorgeous and horrifying in equal quantities.

  • American Hustle

    American Hustle

    when the best praise I can give a film is "it felt like you had an idiot try and rewrite Ocean's Eleven after not having seen it in 5 years and forgetting what made it enjoyable", there's some kinda problem there.

  • Hellraiser: Deader

    Hellraiser: Deader

    A blowjob from the chatterer cenobite would be more pleasant than this film.

  • Savages

    Savages

    I'm embarrassed I watched this, but probably not as much as the wonderful Benicio Del Toro was to unfortunately star in this monstrosity against mankind

  • The Thing

    The Thing

    John Carpenter is rolling in his grave over this abomination

  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    I would rather be recircumcized than rewatch this garbage

  • Les Misérables

    Les Misérables

    The singing in this film made me wish for death's sweet release from the suffering that is the human condition and hearing Russell Crowe try to hit any of his notes.

  • Cabin Fever: Patient Zero

    Cabin Fever: Patient Zero

    How'd Sean Astin's LotR money run out that fast? how he in shit like this now? I think I vomited blood after this movie as my body's own reaction to tell me my mind registered it as literal poison and to evacuated everything I ate today.

  • Beyond the Black Rainbow

    Beyond the Black Rainbow

    ★★★★½

    A loving homage to the "trance films" of the 80s, this film seems like the perfect piece to throw on a projector as background noise, but also is an incredibly gripping piece if one takes the time to engage with it. Let your mind go and be sucked into this red and black psychedelic nightmare.

  • Audition

    Audition

    ★★★★★

    A true slow burn of a Horror film, Audition is not for the weak of heart, as demonstrated by the large number of horror directors who on their first viewing left the theater halfway through. The first half of the film is a tense story of a man trying to find love after his wife dies, but around halfway through the film takes a turn towards Takashi Miike's very unique psychedelic, lurking approach to horror. Wild visuals paint a story…

  • The Holy Mountain

    The Holy Mountain

    ★★★★★

    A film with a highly storied history, The Holy Mountain has been lauded by some as a crowning achievement in film and viewed by others as fodder for midnight movie screenings. I fall into the former and consider it one of the best films made, full stop. Jodorowsky's trademark style is all over the film and his use of familiar tropes of Judeo-Christian imagery alongside Eastern symbolism are blended into a trancelike film that demands your attention. The soundtrack is…