CJ

I like cats, coffee, waffles, long walks on the beach, but not the bees. NOT THE BEES.

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  • The Broken Hearts Gallery

    The Broken Hearts Gallery

    ★★

    Geraldine Viswanathan plays unlucky in love Lucy who has a tendency to hoard grotty artefacts from old relationships until her room is overflowing with bits of random crap with sentimental attachment. After a disastrous dumping from her hipster boyfriend Max, Lucy accidentally gets into a random dude's car, thinking it's a Lyft and romance blossoms. This all happens against the backdrop of Lucy's great new idea for an art gallery - where she exhibits all the old trash from her…

  • Valentine

    Valentine

    ★★★½

    Jeremy Melton gets snubbed by all the girls at a sixth grade dance, except for "fat" (not even remotely fat) girl Dorothy, who kisses him under the bleachers. When they're caught by a gang of bullies, Dorothy claims Jeremy assaulted her and he gets stripped and beaten in front of the whole dance. You'd think that was bad enough but, to make it worse, he gets sent to reform school and never seen or heard from again.

    UNTIL... many years…

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  • Lords of Chaos

    Lords of Chaos

    I have Thoughts. With a capital T. So this is going to be a long post. Sorry.

    I guess I should start by putting this into context because I suspect most people are probably going to find this film perfectly enjoyable and wonder why I'm being so joyless. I admit I'm basically the butthurt fanboy of black metal. All those nerds moaning about Star Wars or Ghostbusters and ruined childhoods. That's me here, sure. I admit it. But I'm at…

  • Lust, Caution

    Lust, Caution

    ★★★★★

    I watch a lot of movies that feel so messy and out of control I just think "who is this for? Does even the director understand what they're doing?" and it's refreshing to feel, from the very start, that you're in the hands of someone who truly knows what they're doing. Lust, Caution is exquisitely made; not just in terms of its lavish production values but in every sense. It's cinema that knows just the right balance between opulent movie…