Jarand

I hate movies so much, jesus christ they make my head hurt.

Favorite films

  • Blade Runner
  • Singin' in the Rain
  • F for Fake
  • Being John Malkovich

Recent activity

All
  • The Vast of Night

    ★★★½

  • Yellow

    ★★★

  • The Music Room

    ★★★½

  • It! The Terror from Beyond Space

    ★★

Pinned reviews

More
  • Malignant

    Malignant

    ★★★

    I can’t believe James Wan got away with this. I don’t know if he is even aware of what he’s done with the backing of Warner Bros, between this and The suicide squad it is clear the studio has accumulated serious fuck-you money and they are unleashing it upon theaters without a single care in the world.
    Malignant is like a prank on audiences, selling itself as yet another jump scare laden chiller, but instead it weaponizes those expectations and…

  • The Nightingale

    The Nightingale

    ★★★★½

    Tense, brutal, chilling and absolutely beautiful. Jennifer Kent crafts a masterpiece after quietly rocking the horror genre with The babadook. The nightingale is an exploration of trauma and power, a take on the rape-revenge genre that is so rich with historical context it feels almost explosive. Not for the fain of heart this is a violent and oppressive tale of the colonization of Australia and the tyrannical oppressive British regime in a microcosm. Anyone who wasn’t a free, white man…

Recent reviews

More
  • The Vast of Night

    The Vast of Night

    ★★★½

    Really solid and atmospheric sci-fi throwback. Sitting somewhere between reminding me of John Carpenter and Spielbergs sci-fi efforts with its elegant (if occasionally over indulgent long takes) one takes. The throwback elements also get a little heavy handed at times and while I enjoyed the cute “Twilight Zone”-esque opening I found the constant cutting back to it to be a frustrating way of taking me out of the film whenever I was really engrossed. And for the most part I…

  • Yellow

    Yellow

    ★★★

    A fine giallo-throwback short, but not much more than that. It is technically well executed for it’s small scope and budget, but lacks any cohesive narrative or characters to make it interesting. Like all the gore and suspense sequences from a decent giallo thriller, but without the characters or dialogue to keep you interested. There is solid gore, lighting and camera work here, however. And the killers mask is neat, but about half of this is just moodily lit close ups of an elderly man, the other half is gratuitous violence.

Popular reviews

More
  • Dark Phoenix

    Dark Phoenix

    ★★★

    Felt nostalgic to see a smaller scaled superhero movie balancing campy fun and seriousy, darker topics. For a moment I felt transported back to early 2000. The movie takes a hit in its final act, but I enjoyed this much more than I was expecting to. The characters remain as engaging as ever.

  • Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot

    Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot

    ★★

    The opening of Stop! Or my mom will shoot actually shows some promise. Succinctly setting up its characters and conflicts and the arrival of Stallones mother played by Estelle Gettys gets a few good laughs in as she plays the overbearing mother from hell. It’s predictable and cutsey, but it kind of feels safe yet laughably weird. Then it all goes to shit ridiculously fast. Stallone lacks comedic chops, even in the role of straight man, Gettys character is so…