• Ray Davies: Imaginary Man

    Ray Davies: Imaginary Man


    I guess that because of this movie, Ray Davies is now a celluloid hero...

    Ray Davies described The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society as "Something only your friends will understand." How beautiful is that?

    "Why did the champagne taste like cola?"
    "I don't know, but it rhymed."

  • i thot i wuz free

    i thot i wuz free





    The description of this movie is like me when I have to analyze a two-line poem about a chair in a high school English class.

  • Sex Appeal

    Sex Appeal


    Sex Appeal feels like a Disney movie in its direction, editing, cinematography, and general style, but it's content could not feel more like something an angsty 15-year-old would write about in her diary as she goes through her first stage of sexual frustration. I can't recall actively disliking a protagonist and every single decision they made more than I did with this movie. Even though it's just a movie, this character is kind of a horrible person in every single…

  • Cannibal Holocaust

    Cannibal Holocaust


    "I want this material burned. All of it."

    I am so glad that I watched this during the day.

    Cannibal Holocaust is one of the most exhausting, dread-inducing, tortuous, and downright miserable movies I've ever experienced. It effectively functions as torture more than it does as art, and the film's reputation and countless controversies only heighten that reputation even more.

    Like a Lars von Trier film, Cannibal Holocaust exists to get a reaction from audiences. And it succeeds at that…

  • The Babysitter: Killer Queen

    The Babysitter: Killer Queen

    The Babysitter: Killer Queen is the type of movie that insists on drenching the characters' faces in excessive amounts of blood and gore for no reason. There really wax no justification for this sequel being made at all. The movie is full of plot contrivances and all of the charm that the original had was completely gone in this one.

  • Louis C.K.: Oh My God

    Louis C.K.: Oh My God


    "Everybody has their time. I mean -- not everybody. There are people out there who there’s just nobody for them. People like to say things like, 'There’s someone for everyone.' Nope. Not at all true, and stop saying it cause it’s mean to people who never find anybody. There are millions of people out there who we’ve all unanimously decided that they are lightspeed ugly and nobody kisses them on the lips even. Nobody touches their genitals their entire life.…

  • The Interview

    The Interview


    It's amazing how the quality of the production can feel so different from the quality of the story.

  • Leprechaun



    I don't know what I was expecting from Leprechaun, but what I got was certainly not it. It passes the bare minimum threshold of entertainment and that's it. Jennifer Aniston is nice in this movie as well, but everything else is overwhelmingly ugly -- from the cinematography to the direction to the special effects.

  • Louis C.K.: Sorry

    Louis C.K.: Sorry


    I will not apologize for watching this again. Sorry.

  • Disturbia



    Disturbia was all over the place. It felt overwhelmingly like a teen romcom for a solid hour, after seeming like a dramatic tearjerker at first, and then it felt like the tense thriller it was intended to be for about 15 minutes before devolving into an action-filled torture porn extravaganza.

  • The Mist

    The Mist


    The Mist is one of the scarier films that I've ever seen, and I say this as someone who takes pride in having never seen a movie that genuinely scared me besides Psycho when I was twelve years old. The first half of The Mist plays with the fear of the unknown quite well and hardly wastes a moment setting everything up. In the second half, when the film becomes more about the monsters and less about the fear of…