• Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb

    Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb

    ★★

    between confederate soldier bill hader and the world’s worst teen actor, this movie is a corny mess that even crystal the monkey couldn’t save


    edit: it has come to my attention that bill hader wasn’t in this movie but i stand by what i said

  • Good Time

    Good Time

    ★★★★

    peak rob performance which makes me wanna mindlessly love it BUT    this movie is flawed, mostly in its ambitious yet half-baked race commentary. i am a sucker for the feverish kaleidoscope pallete that is wholly reminiscent of the willy wonka tunnel scene

  • Endings, Beginnings

    Endings, Beginnings

    ★★

    these stars are for S E B A S T I A N S T A N alone 

    this movie is deeply anti women in the least self aware way

  • Shoplifters

    Shoplifters

    ★★★★★

    a nonjudgmental and ACHINGLY beautiful portrait of relationships that exist within a structure that renders them invisible

  • Elisa & Marcela

    Elisa & Marcela

    ★★½

    incredibly dispassionate story about early 20th cen lesbians / softcore that makes u question who this movie is for. it wanted to be a love tragedy but i just didn’t care enough 

    the half a star is for the octopus tentacle scene, which i found funny

  • What We Do in the Shadows

    What We Do in the Shadows

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    it‘s stupid how funny this movie is 

    rip petyr. gone too soon

  • Love and Monsters

    Love and Monsters

    ★★★★

    super solid with a shockingly original world that might be too big for this one movie but doesn’t quite overstuff the plot. DOB pulls out all the stops w charisma & just the right amount of depth. overall a pleasant surprise, would love to see a sequel someday

  • Zack Snyder's Justice League

    Zack Snyder's Justice League

    ★★½

    the flash & willem dafoe’s hair were the best parts of this movie. jared leto is the cause of all social ills

  • Zombieland

    Zombieland

    ★★★½

    really entertaining, wishing for more woody/zombie shootout scenes and less emma/jesse moments

  • WandaVision

    WandaVision

    ★★★★

    hella late to the party but all hail lizzie olsen!! unprecedented creativity from marvel

  • The One I Love

    The One I Love

    ★★★★

    elizabeth moss’ strongest movie imo... definitely the best example of her penchant to split her characters in half (literally & figuratively). overall this is a well-paced surrealist romantic thriller w/ several twists, some more predictable than others.

  • Plus One

    Plus One

    ★★★½

    maya erskine is just WONDERFUL i mean