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  • Escape Room

    Escape Room

    ★★★

    The more I think about this delightfully guileless Cubelike, the more I like it. I like how any sufficiently skilled accountant could draw up Escape Room’s entire budget from what’s shown onscreen. I like how all of the soundtrack cues were obviously temped with Inception music. I like how the conflict of the first half hour is “what if there was an extreme temperature”. I like the clumsy Saw homages. I especially like how the ending goes full throttle into a franchise hook.…

  • Hot Dog... The Movie

    Hot Dog... The Movie

    ★½

    I do not exaggerate when I say that this is barely a movie (the title’s a damn lie!), but while there’s no forward motion to be found in the plot, the skiing sequences do add some to the frame, which is more than I can say for any of the scenes meant to titillate. Those are the only two types of things that happen in this movie. (For the record, the latter didn’t get anything moving on our end, so…

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  • Cuck

    Cuck

    Donald Trump’s name is never uttered in Cuck. His likeness is briefly featured, but the man himself is only ever referred to once, and only in the abstract: “our president”. His presence registers with all the weight of an off-brand “Combover Leader” Halloween mask. Barack Obama gets a similar silent treatment, although he’s at least afforded a freakishly anachronistic “Obummer” epithet. This is what we call a “small victory”.

    Cuck is the type of movie where the main character watches…

  • Eighth Grade

    Eighth Grade

    haven't seen this yet but when Elsie Fisher mentioned Letterboxd on Jimmy Kimmel exactly one person in the audience went "woo!" and I just want to know which one of you fuckers it was