This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Aka Bring Me The Head of Andy Garcia
This was fascinatingly bad, hilarious even, and it had absolutely zero business clocking in at 99 minutes (slowly started to feel the fade after the first hour).
📼There are at least three too many threads (+ their wacky subthreads) going on at once and at all times for a DTV movie production this threadbare.
(Yes, Virginia, There Is A Boom Mic In The Shot.)
🎩A cartoonish villain ties a screaming victim to train tracks and of course in the path…
I don't know how to rate this just yet.
Should I rate it as I would've 8 years ago when this was a sub-subgenre I semi-rabidly sought out and was genuinely exhilarated by? ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Should I rate it by my experience trying to watch this film as it plunged my mood down through my intestines, past a churned, digested-ish egg-quinoa sandwich and right out my asshole? ⭐⭐
For years, I heard that this was "beyond bleak" and…