Don Jon ★★★

Ranking every element of Don Jon

His body: 9/10

I don't personally find JGL very attractive but can't deny he looks great in this movie.

His pad: 7/10

Not the best pad in the world, very generic but gotta give him lots of love for keeping it clean.

His ride: 10/10

Not a muscle car fan but gotta respect that is one sick motherfucking ride.

His family: 4/10

Any family that wastes Brie Larson as a bored teen who barely says anything is a bad family.

His church: 3/10

Not a cool church and I'm annoyed his entire relationship with church is confession. I get that's the point but a genuine attempt at churching woulda been nice.

His boys: 2/10

Two friends and both are the most generic shit heels who only talk about banging. Jesus just give each other handles and get new friends.

His girls: 5/10

No doubt attractive but clearly these are meat puppets for him to bang. ScarJo is okay but they really don't flesh her out.

His porn: 1/10

Seriously the worst porn taste in history. Nothing even remotely outside of the most fake and plasticy porn possible. A person who watches that much porn and has no unique tastes speaks volumes to a lack of creativity.

So that gives us a 5/10 which of course gets a final 6/10 because anything with Julianne Moore gets at least 1 point added.