Joel has written 8 reviews for films with no rating.

  • Inoperable

    Inoperable

    A thriller about a girl(Danielle Harris) caught in a time loop in a hospital where some odd things are going on and this is the premise for such a poorly acted, poorly executed film that fails to deliver on any promise the premise may have and never really enters that "so bad, it's good" because its biggest failure is:it's boring.
    Danielle Harris is not a bad actor, but she's definitely phoning it in here and every other actor is just…

  • My Life as a Zucchini

    My Life as a Zucchini

    The stop animation film also known as My Life As a Courgette, a film about a young boy dealing with losing his mother and living in a orphanage , it tackles heavy themes of death and abuse in a way that children can understand and bring levity to it. Zucchini is a great character and the heart of the film is his redemptive story.
    The story is very simple in nature as it's mostly about the children of the orphanage…

  • Ghost Team

    Ghost Team

    Ghost Team is one of the most unfunny comedies of 2016. The story of a bunch of loners coming together to investigate an area thought to be haunted, the story is so simple that nothing happens for most of the running time of the film. The cast is lead by Jon Heder who continues to prove Napoleon Dynamite was his one hit wonder. Along for the ride is Justin Long, David Krumholtz(who is really funny in Sausage Party), Melonie Diaz,…

  • Meet the Blacks

    Meet the Blacks

    The Purge basically retold shot for shot but with some really bad jokes and an unconvincing lead in Mike Epps. The story is a carbon copy of the first Purge down to every little plot point, but unlike The Purge, Epps can't deliver and his jokes along with Mike Tyson, Charlie Murphy, George Lopez and Paul Mooney just fail every time. The movie wants to be current with its pop cultural jokes, but many are too late to be told…

  • Catwoman

    Catwoman

    The best thing to be said about this film is that at least it didn't ruin the name of Selina Kyle (the Catwoman that both Michelle Pfeiffer and Anne Hathaway stole the show with) but introduced the cinematic world to Patience Philips(Halle Berry).
    Halle Berry is a great actress-in other films, but her performance in Catwoman is so terrible(Razzie award winning performance) in not only her depiction of her cat skills(rubbing face with catnip ball) but she has no chemistry…

  • Batman & Robin

    Batman & Robin

    The best that can be said about Batman and Robin is that it makes for a great comedy. Batman (Clooney), Robin (O' Donnell) and BatGirl (Silverstone) fight Mr. Freeze(Schwarzenegger who wins the award for the most terrible ice puns in a single film), Poison Ivy (Thurman) and Bane(the worst version of a comic book villain ever-BANE!). It also paved the way for the Nolan trilogy (all of which were much better than this film).
    There are a lot of negatives…

  • As Above, So Below

    As Above, So Below

    The only thing good that can be said about this film is they at least tried to do something different with the premise to separate it from all the other found footage films out there.
    Unfortunately, it implements all the worst found footage elements: shaky cam, low visibility in scenes, long shots that tell the audience where to look for the "surprises" and jump scares.
    The movie lacks any truly scary moments and ends up being more ridiculous than anything…

  • Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

    Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

    The only nice things to be said about this film is that it tried to separate itself from all the other Paranormal Activity movies and their formula and it tied into the Paranormal Activity 1 storyline.
    The movie fails to be original in execution however as it ops to resort to jump scares, pointless plot twists and boring reveals.The tie in to the series makes no sense and feels out of place in the film. Nothing in the film is…