• LEGO DC Super Hero Girls: Brain Drain
  • Hell Girl

    Hell Girl

    This man shouldn't be allowed to direct. He shouldn't be allowed to teach. If I were his wife, he wouldn't be allowed back in the house after this atrocity. This man is supposedly a film professor, which means he is taking the next generation of PTAs and Tarantinos and snuffing out any talent or good instincts that they might have had. This film is perhaps the perfect illustration for why you SHOULDN'T GO TO FILM SCHOOL. Make your own damn movies, and let this idiot keep on making shit like this.


    The demon girl was pretty hot though, not gonna lie.

  • Frozen II

    Frozen II

    I would have banged Elsa.

  • Between Two Houses

    Between Two Houses

    "Alice in Wonderland mad"

    Yeah, at least this movie had a real story. That story also just so happens to be a direct copy of Romeo and Juliet. And he's bitching that Davis Matthews copied him! You can't make this shit up.

  • Hansel and Gretel

    Hansel and Gretel

    Twenty bucks says I could seduce that damn witch.

  • Stare

    Stare

    After watching this short three times, I finally understand what it's about. Unfortunately, it sucks.

  • President Evil
  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

    The Grand Budapest Hotel

    Imagine how fucking easy it is to shoot a Wes Anderson movie.

    "Alright, yeah, just make it symmetrical and then do a whip pan. Or maybe a crash-zoom -- you know, mix things up a bit."

  • Joker

    Joker

    Todd Phillips: "If we talk about mental illness and celebrity culture and access to medication and violence and shit no one will realize just how fucking vapid and banal this movie is."

    Audiences in 2019: "Holy shit this is the most profound thing ever and I'm an intellectual because I understood its spoon-fed messaging!"

  • The Emoji Movie

    The Emoji Movie

    ★★★★★

    Have you ever met someone and knew right away that they were the best thing that's ever happened to you? It feels strange because you've lived your entire life without even knowing they existed, but you wonder how you survived for this long without them in your life. I can honestly say that I've just felt true love for the first, and probably last, time in my life. For the longest time, you've listened to songs singing about love and…

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    ★★★★★

    The most non-virgin movie I've ever seen.

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    2015 J.J. Abrams: "Here's my story, everyone! Isn't it great?"

    2017 Rian Johnson: "Oh, is it? Really? How about I just clear all that out of the way and.... yep. Here we go! Isn't it great?"

    2019 J.J. Abrams: "Oh yeah? Really? You wanna fuck up my story? Well how 'bout I fuck it right the fuck back to where we started! Haha! Fuck you, Rian Johnson! Whadda you fanboys think now? Two-and-a-half hours of fan service on a fucking…