Favorite films

  • Spider-Man

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  • The Florida Project

    ★★★★★

  • Mother India

  • The American Friend

    ★★★★½

  • The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

    ★★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • The Florida Project

    The Florida Project

    ★★★★★

    Everyone shut the fuck up I just watched a masterpiece.

    I- I don't really know what to say. I didn't go into this movie expecting to like it as much as I did. Hell, I didn't go in expecting to care all that much. Turns out I cared a lot. I knew as soon as I saw the opening though that this wasn't my average viewing experience. This was the next step up. I don't know what word you use…

  • Mother India

    Mother India

    I fucking hate this movie and now I have to write an essay on it I beg for the sweet release of death

Popular reviews

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  • Monster Hunter

    Monster Hunter

    This isn’t a review. I’m here because I’m angry. My life was better before this trailer existed and I’m upset that it flew under my radar.  I’m a diehard Monster Hunter fan, have been for years. It is my moral obligation to explain why this shit is inaccurate to the source material.
    First of all, the fucking Instagram page reads that Black Diablos has found her prey, despite the fact that her prey, is cactus. They’ve deliberately altered the design…

  • Paradise Mall

    Paradise Mall

    ★★½

    I've never been so invested in something I didn't understand. Yes, that was entirely for obvious reasons.
    You know I used to have a sense for if a film was really good, it was called crying. I very rarely cry at films so if one gets me to cry that's because it's doing a really good job. I cried at this film, because Daniel Brühl shaves off his very beautiful hair. It wasn't a lot of crying, but it was…