Cats

Cats

Well, I can't say I was disappointed. I expected this to be terrible, but I don't think I expected it to be terrible in this way. Let's start by getting the obvious stuff out of the way. Yes, the character designs are hideous and look like something straight of the uncanny valley, and they make for absolutely horrifying dance sequences. I'm certainly not the first person to make this observation, but quite honestly, the character designs are the least of the problems with this filn.

My main issue with this film is that it is an utter slog to get through. Sequence after sequence of mind-numbly repetitive song and dance numbers, with very short intervals in between. By the time we hit the 30-minute mark, I'm already exhausted and ready to watch something else. Even in the little breaks that we're able to get, there is hardly anything of substance to latch onto, no character development (or character at all, for that matter), no build-up of tension; we don't even get a proper climax, it just ends, and Judi Dench's character implies that we should've learned something from this experience. Your guess is as good as mine as to what lesson that is.

This film is essentially nothing more than a series of show tunes, which might not be too bad if said show tunes were any good. Outside of Jennifer Hudson's shockingly beautiful rendition of "Memories," quite easily, the best and only decent moment in the film, I can hardly even recall most theses songs, it's like they enter through one ear then exit right out the other, and I forget that I had even heard them. Let's hope I can forget that I watched this movie.

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