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  • Infinite



    Infinite is such a mis-fire of a film, it almost falls into "so bad, it's good" territory. Some of the effects are good, there's a couple of decent concepts, and Chiwetel Ejiofor's performance demonstrates he, at least, knows what kind of film he's in.

    But everything else about this film is garbage. Mark Wahlberg has apparently learned nothing after a quarter of a century of acting; Antoine Fuqua directs this like he was already mentally two projects into the future;…

  • F9



    So, back in 2015, I capped off my review of Furious 7 with the following statement:

    "...I look forward to seeing Furious 11 in about 6 years times when this cast of superheroes are battling a bunch of aliens on the moon in their 6000hp moon buggies."

    I might have got the aliens part wrong, but I wish to apologise to the producers of the Fast franchise - including Vin Diesel - for being a whole 1.25 films short (counting…

Recent reviews

  • The Longest Yard

    The Longest Yard


    Film #32 in The Countdown Podcast 2021 Scavenger Hunt. A movie starring a professional wrestler - The Great Khali (Dalip Singh), "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Kevin Nash, and Bill Goldberg in The Longest Yard (2005).

    So Sandler DID make an enjoyable movie after 2000! Who knew?

    3.5 Out of Place Sudden Deaths for <b.The Longest Yard.

  • The Killing of Two Lovers

    The Killing of Two Lovers


    About as indie as they come, The Killing of Two Lovers has a great deal going for it - including, but not limited to, a believable central performance from Clayne Crawford, some impressive cinematography set within a 4:3 presentation and a particularly memorable score. However it offers a promise between its title and impactful opening that is never delivered on, ultimately squandering its quickly-established tension through glacial pacing and a deeply unsatisfying conclusion.

    2.5 Partners That Move On Quicker Than The Other for The Killing of Two Lovers.

Popular reviews

  • Crawl



    Things I learned while watching Crawl:

    - Florida state police officers do not bother pursuing people who directly and brazenly ignore their explicit orders.
    - Basements below ground level do not flood until it is narratively necessary for them to do so.
    - Alligators are all at least 9 feet long.
    - If any alligators smaller than 9 feet long do exist, they most certainly do not venture into basements where their smaller size would enable them to crawl under…

  • Tenet




    For several months now, Tenet has been proclaimed as the film which might just save the movie theatre industry. A 200 million dollar, original property blockbuster, written and directed by one of the most reliable names in Hollywood, Christopher Nolan. The hopes were that Nolan might deliver a film that was so incredible – so quintessential – to see on the big screen that it would tempt people from their homes, with their huge televisions…