• Trading Places

    Trading Places

    ★★★½

    While some of the choices made have not aged well, overall this movie holds up. Still very funny, still very entertaining, and I choose to believe that's still exactly how commodities trading works.

    Where it lost me was some of the over-the-top cartoonish elements of the last act. I guess that's the 80s for ya.

  • The Handmaiden

    The Handmaiden

    ★★★★★

    The only way women can have an ounce of power in this cruel, patriarchal world is to be gay; do crimes

  • Dick Johnson Is Dead

    Dick Johnson Is Dead

    ★★★

    One family's tender, fantastical, sick, and well-funded creative experiment to commemorate a kind man, as he looks his oncoming decline in the eye and grapples with that reality.

    I appreciate how both Johnsons make us face the "big" questions, but I wish there were more of a thesis here.

  • Safety Not Guaranteed

    Safety Not Guaranteed

    ★★★½

    This movie had no right to make me feel so much.

    I picked something that looked easy to watch and was free on Netflix to play in the background while I folded laundry, but by the end of the 1:25 runtime, I found myself sitting on my living room floor, clutching my laptop, allowing myself care deeply about a Mark Duplass character.

    It's not that this movie is exceptional or beautifully shot or even all that consequential, but it does…

  • Home Alone

    Home Alone

    ★★★★★

    Bravissimo!!! Un chef-d'oeuvre!! I hope to only have daughters, but if I have a son I can only pray he's like Kevin McCallister.

    That was so much pizza for $120!

  • My Spy

    My Spy

    ★★½

    Further proof the wrestler-to-actor pipeline works

  • Ginger Snaps

    Ginger Snaps

    ★★★½

    Wrists are for girls; I'm slitting my throat

    No, it's not about some girls called the Ginger Snaps like I assumed, but about a girl named Ginger who, well, snaps.

    There is so much this movie does well, and despite the distractingly outdated graphic effects, it really was ahead of its time. I think future demon hot girl movies such as Jennifer's Body have improved on the concept with a better executed story, but there's so much originality here that…

  • The Craft

    The Craft

    ★★★

    Women be spellcasting!

    I wish the witches' main conflict was with the rest of the world rather than each other but I understand the cult status this movie has earned.

  • Downfall

    Downfall

    ★★★

    The eugenics doctor is the good guy??

  • Batman Returns

    Batman Returns

    ★★★½

    If you're a freak like me, you will dig this.

    Burton's zany gothic flair is perfectly suited to musical theater and comic book movies, and I kind of wish that's all he made.

    Keaton's performance is boring and forgettable, but it doesn't matter when you have The Eggman himself, Danny Devito, playing The Penguin: a sewer-dwelling FUH-REAK with a cartoonishly creepy tophat and magical umbrella. Pfieffer also kills it as Catwoman and deserved a sequel.

    Not that it matters but I need to call out how The Penguin's mutant hands really do resemble lobster claws and not flippers.

  • Happiest Season

    Happiest Season

    ★★

    Nooo Kristen Stewart don't stay in a toxic relationship you're so sexy aha

  • The Wild Bunch

    The Wild Bunch

    ★★★½

    I need to watch again at some point if only to keep all the names and faces straight. But lots to like! I love when boys get to hang with their boys.