• Moonfall


    This is one weird-ass adaptation of the Local 58

  • The Cold Light of Day

    The Cold Light of Day


    Fits the aesthetic of "7-11 DVD shelf"-core to a tee. Generic script, phoned-in performances from actors & actresses just looking to buy new swimming pools, decent action, and shot on digital with little to no visual flair to anything. It's kind of hilarious how deadpan Sigourney Weaver is in this. "Catch." I guess it's not terrible if you've just never watched an action movie in your life.

    Yeah, not a lot of jokes for this one. The real funny moment is…

  • Glitter


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Glitter is mildly fascinating because it is essentially the most stripped-down, bare-bones, fleshless version of the "rise to stardom" plot you can get. Technically, everything is there in the script: Sad backstory, the boosts of popularity, being swept up in the machine to lose who you are and where you came from, big emotional arguments, and the closing epic performance that's supposed to sell, like, a bajillion singles. But it's literally missing everything else: Performances, proper editing, connective tissue between…

  • Overdrive



    Y'know...this wasn't that bad.

    Definitely a kind of generic 90s-early 2000s action movie throwback. Nothing added to the formula to spice it up, but nothing taken out to ruin the whole meal. It's literally like a French version of the "Two Brothers" parody from Rick & Morty, with big cars, big stunts, big explosions, and big bazoingas on those ladies because...how else do you get dumbies to watch dumb movies.

    I guess the terrible comparison I could make (Is that my…

  • The Transformers: The Movie

    The Transformers: The Movie


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Film Club #59 (Pick by Some asshole)

    Two massive forces of powerful beings chose a galaxy beyond their homeworld to wage their final conflict. A peaceful morning of fishing and cruising turns into a fatal ambush where not even the seemingly indestructible leaders can survive. One group is now a band of mostly rookies fleeing for their lives, the other reborn under the power of a force so great that not even veterans can fathom its strength. Split up forcefully,…

  • L'Avventura



    Film Club #58 (Pick by Anders)

    I hate that my major complaint with "L'Avventura" is that "It's no Red Desert." Seriously, if you didn't like "L'Avventura" and have no plans on trying out another Antonioni, "Red Desert" is a monumental improvement. The themes are more clear and more striking, the style is more heightened and more surreal, the acting is more engaging and more emotional. So, yeah, L'Avventura feels like when you finish up a more modern game and decide…

  • Margaret



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Film Club #57 (Pick by Louis Chiasson)

    (Extended Version)

    I don't know whether to give it two stars because holy shit I hate Lisa or four stars because holy shit I hate Lisa.

    Margaret is an exhausting film, bordering between "good exhausting" and "bad exhausting" for the nearly 3-hour runtime. There's kind of a formula scene by scene where the scene will devolve into screaming matches that does get quite tiresome by the time the film is wrapping up, but…

  • The Muppet Movie

    The Muppet Movie


    Film Club #56 (Pick by Lizard King)

    A heck of a lot of fun. "The Muppets Movie" is a lighthearted comedy Secret Origins of the Muppets that mirrors the actual success story of Jim Henson & his journey to make the Muppets into a worldwide phenomenon. The sense of humor has a little something for everyone from fourth-wall breaks to puns to slapstick to so much more, the songs are absolute jams that convey the simple joys of having friends & dreams,…

  • High Life

    High Life


    Film Club #55 (Pick by Hunter)

    Well...that's a lot to take in.

    There is an extreme amount of push and pull in this film. The premise of a...space station sex dungeon(?) goes all-out with some extreme imagery. Every piece building mood, tension, and atmosphere to create this tight, structured-yet-chaotic environment works really well and High Life definitely takes cues from similar "isolated in space" films to create its aesthetic. It's one of those "constrictor" types of French films that just…

  • Before Sunrise

    Before Sunrise


    Film Club #54 (Pick by Bree)

    The "Boyhood took 12 years to make!" guy...made a philosophical, hippie-dippie romantic-comedy-drama...that I genuinely, unironically love?

    *insert your favorite baffled reaction here, but in case your imagination isn't working today, here is one that will do*

    Yeah sure, I went in with the "Film Club college try" mindset, but I'm not going to act like this may have been the tallest hill a film had to climb for me and it fucking did it.…

  • The Purge: Election Year

    The Purge: Election Year

    Film Club #53 (Pick by reibureibu/Theo)

    Watching Pain & Gain so close to when I watched this really puts into perspective how a schlockmeister compares to his imitators.

    I gave it the good old college try. I tried to shut my brain off. But it's bad. It's so bad. I was so bored and let down. It didn't have me hooked at a single point in this film. The writing sucks. I've learned from many games that escort missions always suck.…

  • Four Lions

    Four Lions


    Film Club #52 (Pick by Tom)

    Shot like a VICE documentary and written like Edgar Wright was supervising, "Four Lions" absolutely hits a home run with its black comedy premise. This was not made by a dumb director who just wanted to be edgy and hip, it's so well-written with an awesome cast (especially Riz Ahmed and Nigel Lindsay) that makes it work so much. It gives the main characters a good amount of heart & motivation despite their roles and…