• Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain

    Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain

    ★★½

    A deeply dark film walking past the "old new york" with Siberia Bar being introduced without conflict. Here a husband/wife duo exploit Bourdain over the years until he's profitable and then act shocked as he evolves into a cinematic quality through meeting Asia Argento and Christopher Doyle. The husband-wife duo use this same moment to create their own "Yoko Ono" moment to avoid their own complacency.

    But if anything this film ignores how Jon Spencer Blues Explosion used to be a go-to before Queens of the Stone Age snuck inside.

  • The Kids

    The Kids

    ★★

    Basic "talking heads talk slight to the left, right and/or center of camera" but the sheer amount of personal footage and material from the surviving cast of Kids is worth a watch. Harmony Korine and Larry Clarke firmly inhabit the antagonist roles along with a mildly interesting but lost to time detail that Clarke knew his only way to make a film like Kids was to sneak in through the then-college student's already cemented friendship with Harold Hunter.

    Though it's…

  • Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

    Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

    ★½

    So the tradition continues of Morgan Freeman fucking his adopted children. Over.

  • Cruella

    Cruella

    Icees are $7.50 now! What the hell! But I was very impressed with how everyone got paid on time for this. If you have to know it was an Icee suicide (Coke, Blueberry and Wild Cherry). Something unique about Cruella is with its runtime of  134 minutes you can drink almost three Icee suicides.  During this time you’d think you’d miss something relevant but this is not the case. Icees sold by AMC now only come in one size.  The other…

  • Dead Mountaineer's Hotel

    Dead Mountaineer's Hotel

    ★★★★

    It definitely swings for the fences with a murder mystery set at a "hotel" with a luggage carrying St. Bernard, a physicist that loves climbing ceilings and fake-outs when dudes get too horny with a mannequin. And then the aliens show themselves.

  • Wrath of Man

    Wrath of Man

    ★★½

    The first 30 minutes feels like the slickest, most expensive 1313:... film ever made with tense, passive aggressive banter involving the threat of giving a handjob to someone with the mind-bending nickname of "Boy Sweat" ("He knows what it means"). Afterwards it definitely feels like Guy Richie decided to buy the rights for a film and just copy/paste bits from Revolver and RockNRolla. Really picks up with the brief tease of the actual armored car robbers, but very quickly it reeks of a hastily copied entry off Den of Thieves' Wikipedia page.

  • Apple in the River

    Apple in the River

    ★★★

    A brief reminder about the "chimera" doc-fiction debate that consumed people's lives a few years ago but played here to get past the Latvian film board in the 70s. A faked love story shrouds the story of a dying island in the face of incoming infrastructure by the way of bridges. But even the jokey love story ends on an incredibly bleak note as the narrator points out one character has a daughter while the implied mother drinks freely at a cafe sans wedding ring.

  • Stockholmsnatt

    Stockholmsnatt

    ★★★½

    I'll always be amazed looking back at the 80s and how eager everyone was to get into brawls set to hair metal and kendo sticks at cavernous music venues. Here a 45-minute educational video about the horrors of being a wandering youth idolizing Stallone's Rambo and Bruce Lee provides the opposite effect and makes it look pretty fucking cool.

  • A*P*E

    A*P*E

    ★★★

    In the grand scheme of things I think A*P*E could beat up The Host from The Host. Utterly cheap and designed to steal confused viewers from the '76 remake of King Kong, this is all killer no filler when it comes to introducing a man in a cheap, miscolored gorilla outfit (in 3-DDDDddddddddd...) that fights an actual shark and snake before flipping off the camera at having to do multiple takes. I appreciate Kino Lorber including a 3-D option but…

  • Spiral: From the Book of Saw

    Spiral: From the Book of Saw

    ★★

    Not since Meru have I actively routed for the antagonist to keep fucking up plucky protagonists and the unfortunate souls they've tricked into their own personal journeys into hell.

    The only downside to this is it struck me bout 2/3rds through this that SAW VS. JIGSAW. VS. SPIRAL is coming soon as little puppets battle one another and "Spiral Killer" must trade pithy wordplay with "Guy from Jigsaw" while a full body cast of Tobin Bell spins at full speed in a grave with a twist.

  • A Quiet Place Part II

    A Quiet Place Part II

    ★★½

    First film back in a etc etc etc. 

    I find these okay but fascinating because whether it’s the ratings or Krasinski et. all not wanting to deal with the detail that the Angry Sound Aliens That Didn’t Copy Stranger Things’ Demogorgon never do anything aside from beat the shit out of people. It’d be one thing if they were eating folks but for the most part they just hate loud noises and punch whoever makes them. Secretly I emphasize with them for that.

  • This Is Not a Burial, It’s a Resurrection

    This Is Not a Burial, It’s a Resurrection

    ★★★½

    Took a bit but this story of wishing for and ultimately giving up in front of the idea of beliefs by way of modernism only for everything to fall to shit was quite refreshing.