• Voyage of the Rock Aliens

    Voyage of the Rock Aliens

    ★★★★

    5 minutes in: This might be the best film ever. (Probably not.)

    10 minutes in: I can't stop cumming in my pants?


    So... Was it the best film ever? Nah, it loses it's way as they fail to take it serious enough to make it work all the way through. It's so much fun when they try to be cool but annoying when they try to be funny. Ruth Gordon is fantastic but here she hams it up like it…

  • Crimes of Passion

    Crimes of Passion

    ★★★★

    "Bow down, o Lord, and hear me for I am poor and needy. Preserve my soul, for I am holy. O Thou, my God. Save thy servant, that trusteth in Thee. Save him from this bigmouth cooze with a motor driven ass!"

    I rewatched this a month or two ago but did the horrible mistake of thinking I remembered it better than I did so I watched it with a Ken Russell commentary track. It was great but I really…

  • The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

    The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

    ★★★

    Modern gothic? That I can get behind. Well, aesthetically. It looks gorgeous, Red Desert's Alberto Spagnoli* sure know how to shoot the shit out of the color red. But you have to be a magnificent fucking idiot to not be able to make anything look gorgeous when you have Barbara Bouchet in front of the camera.

    The plot is... far fetched, to say the least. You could even call it stupid. But the stupidity at least lends to some fun…

  • The Tomb of Ligeia

    The Tomb of Ligeia

    ★★★

    You can tell that Corman was getting a little tired of making these Poe adaptations. Not in a bad way though, it is mainly by how he changes things around from the old formula. More scenes outside in wide landscapes, actually shooting in England, letting some guy named Robert Towne write instead of Richard Matheson... Even the traditionally red candles are BLUE this time!

    But it's still got that old Corman/Price/Poe-charm to it. It's so cozy.



    Also: Fun part in…

  • Tenebre

    Tenebre

    ★★★½

    As Argento expert Kim Newman or Alan Jones said (I can't remember witch one) on their commentary track, describing that long one shot where the camera goes from one window to another and then up on the roof: "meaninglessly brilliant".

    I probably write this in EVERY Argento-review but I like his ideas and way of thinking, how to use dream logic and iconography - I just don't love his movies. His execution always feel sloppy to me.

    But I do…

  • Beware! The Blob

    Beware! The Blob

    For fuck's sake, Larry. This is the kind of movie you only do if you want to end peoples career's.

  • Phenomena

    Phenomena

    ★★½

    Never have Motörhead been used worse in film before. Or since. But I guess it sums up a lot of what I think of the movie (and Argento in general). I really wish the guy could balance his "WTF?!"-ideas and his "just why?"-ideas better.

    And who doesn't like Jennifer Connelly? Well, she is... not good here. There is no urgency in her performance when there is supposed to be suspense. But I would still marry her if Paul Bettany were…

  • The Haunted Palace

    The Haunted Palace

    ★★★½

    Roger Corman is an icon but he could've been so much more as a director. But hey, he rather produced so it's not up to us. The camera moooooves. Small, subtle cool shots all over the place in a way that makes me sad thinking how I never see that in Swedish movies and this was shot in just 15 days! And the guy just LOVES to give Vincent Price dramatic entrances in these Poe movies - as far as…

  • Eleven Days, Eleven Nights

    Eleven Days, Eleven Nights

    ★★★

    I was absolutely ready to write a "from the writers of Troll 2 and the director of 120 Days of Anal" type of review but... this was absolutely a lot more competent than that. While I am no fan of softcore erotica (is that the genre?) it was nice to see one where the woman got to be dominant. All in all: fun stuff but not my cup of tea.

    Listened to the commentary track by critic and author Troy Howarth that I recommend more than the movie. Talking about Joe D'Amato and the time period the movie came out and how it was received.

  • Terror-Creatures from the Grave

    Terror-Creatures from the Grave

    ★½

    Barbara Steel steals the show so of course we don't get enough of her. It almost feel like they cut her part DOWN so she wouldn't overshadow all the other SUPER boring characters. It's so boring when she's not on screen.

  • The Dirt Bike Kid

    The Dirt Bike Kid

    ★½

    Such a cute kids film that takes the best from Herbie and Christine, trashes all that - keeps the rest - and sprinkles some Harvey Weinstein sexual harassment aaaall over it.

  • Kung Fury

    Kung Fury

    ★★★★★

    Yes, I worked on it and yes; I have given movies I work on 5 stars before but I absolutely mean it here. And it still holds up. David Sandberg is a fucking genius.

    Rewatched this (been a while) because I am holding a lecture to scriptwriting student tomorrow on the film. That is what the scriptwriters of the future needs, right?