jacobstertz has written 77 reviews for films rated ★★★½ .

  • Julius Caesar

    Julius Caesar


    Whole time I’m saying, “noooo julez 😱 they gon’ killlll uuuu 🗡🗡🗡🗡” and then after they did (which I was right about) these old weird speaking dudes STAYED talking… movie was okay for black and white 🤮 reminded me of Ms. (didn’t want us to know if she was married or not.. I think she wasn’t) Beyer’s English class 📖📖📚 where we mostly just played mad libs and drank Mountain Dew.

  • Stranger Than Fiction

    Stranger Than Fiction


    “Dramatic irony… will fuck you every time.”

    Underrated for the sole reason that people expected it to be your standard Will Ferrel comedy. The fact it’s about a book being written, and we’re living that story as it’s being constructed, makes it already very good to me.

  • Life of Crime

    Life of Crime


    The kidnapping for ransom genre is a bit overplayed and I wouldn’t say this one reinvented anything new, but, it did do it very well and was incredibly well cast— in particular Hawkes, Fisher and Robbins. One scene that stands out— one of many— for its utter hilariousness is when Aniston is let out of her room unblindfolded for the first time and sees all the swastikas and other Nazi memorabilia and, she is just in complete shock how much…

  • Mothra vs. Godzilla

    Mothra vs. Godzilla


    Godzilla can take a pollen flogging in a similar way to how Rocky can take a punch and Joey “Jaws” Chestnut can stomach a hotdog.

  • Bad Lieutenant

    Bad Lieutenant


    Some pretty wild shit going on here and clearly written and made by other drug users. Christopher Walken was originally suppose to play the LT which would have made for an interesting alternative version— maybe better, probably worse. Seems wild Keitel could stay so ripped while doing all those drugs but he might just be short like Arnold and Stallone and have an unfair advantage— really the same reason Shetland ponies always look like they pull more wagons, and get a little more hay, than your normal horse.

  • Another Round

    Another Round


    Some funny scenes. Some good acting. Some questionable thought processes. Maybe it should have been a cautionary tale but it really wasn’t and the ending is ridiculous and not in a good way— almost too idyllic for hitting the old philosophy sauce pretty hard throughout the film. What was that ridiculous Danish pop song in English at the end? Seemed a bit out of place along with Mads’ dance moves.

  • Article 99

    Article 99


    Certainly a bit campy, and maybe more in line w a made for tv film, but it’s heart is in the right place and sometimes that’s more than enough.

  • The Homesman

    The Homesman


    Had moments of greatness but ultimately it meandered too much and had a ridiculous plot. Some big names that Tommy Lee was able to get which really saves what could have been a mess of a movie.

  • 12 Angry Men

    12 Angry Men


    George C Scott took it a little too far...

  • The Rainmaker

    The Rainmaker


    Should have been titled “Bone Marrow Transplant.”

  • The Cameraman

    The Cameraman


    Buster Keaton is really something else! The video quality on the copy I watched was pretty incredible— you could see the make-up imperfections on Buster’s face. That monkey is the best animal actor I’ve seen outside of Airbud or Willy from “Free Willy.” I also like the frames with commentary (I’m sure there’s a technical term for them) as they really set up the next scene in a unique, almost sage way. This isn’t a long film and it moves at a fast pace which makes it digestible for someone who isn’t normally into this sort of motion picture.

  • Let the Sunshine In

    Let the Sunshine In


    I will preface this like I do all Claire Denis movies: I love Claire Denis and she is easily one of my favorite directors. With that being said, I am not this movie’s demographic— it seems more well suited for an older age group or possibly anyone who thinks their days of finding true love are past them (I suppose we can only know that when it’s too late or we close the door on being open to that sort…