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  • The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

    The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

    ★★★★

    "Oh my God, dad, I'm a virgin!"
    First of all, some of the legitimate upsides to this: The editing and overall production quality has greatly improved. The sound is great, it isn't color-graded to hell, the cinematography is dynamic and interesting, and the score is finally coming into its own when its actually used correctly.
    On the other hand, the acting and writing is just as gloriously awful as ever. Kristen Stewart especially stands out as a terrible performer displaying…

  • Freddy vs. Jason

    Freddy vs. Jason

    ★★★★★

    𝙔𝙚𝙥. 𝙄 𝙜𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙨.
    I wouldn't go as far as to put this film on the same level as Rob Zombie's Halloween II. Halloween II is a misunderstood modern masterpiece. Freddy vs. Jason is a film that caters to all my personal horror needs. One is a critically disliked masterpiece and one is a critically disliked movie that I fucking love.
    Anyway, why did I give this seemingly stupid cash grab five stars?
    Reason 1: It definitely fits…

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  • Bones

    Bones

    ★★★★½

    "Gangsta of love don't eat no fried chicken!"
    Creepy, atmospheric melting pot of subgenres with an incredible villain. Snoop Dogg kills it as a stylish, smooth and vengeful spirit. He's pretty much perfect for this role in every way. He can be a likable badass in the 70s or a terrifying ghost in the early 2000s.
    Whether it's blood red giallo dream sequences, yellow tinted blaxploitation, a gory haunted house film, or a Hellraiser like journey into Hell, Ernest R. Dickerson can direct it all.

  • Resident Evil

    Resident Evil

    ★★★★

    "You're all going to die down here."
    Tight, fast-paced zombie action horror that does a really great job providing thrills and scares. Anderson's metallic, claustrophobic, world-building is a unique atmosphere for the zombie genre, which rarely take place in sci-fi, "inside-of-a-spaceship-style" landscapes.
    It's an unforgiving film, morbidly killing off anyone no matter what. Its incredibly similar to AVP, but not quite as good.

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  • Menace II Society

    Menace II Society

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "I'd done too much to turn back, and I'd done too much to go on."
    A brutal coming-of-age film. An anti-Lady Bird in its realistic violence and tragic finale. Easily mistakable as a glorification of the lifestyle with its convertible Mustangs and flashy gold rims, but are the cars worth dying over?
    The ending truly brought me close to tears, maybe even more so than Boyz N the Hood, an untouchable masterpiece.

  • 300

    300

    ★★★★★

    "This is Sparta!"
    The still frame that's the current backdrop for this, along with countless other stills, is a literal piece of art. Purely from a visual perspective this film is undeniably flawless.
    So far all of Zack Snyder's works that I've seen (Justice League 2021, Batman v Superman Ultimate, Watchmen Ultimate, and Dawn of the Dead) have all been 9/10s that I seriously considered giving a 10. There's a very good chance that when I rewatch all of them…