Great Satan

Great Satan

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  • Alien Resurrection

    Alien Resurrection

    METROID/ALIEN MARATHON, PART 4 OF 4

    THE GAME: Metroid Fusion (2002) [played on Nintendo DS Lite]

    THE PLOT: While accompanying researchers on SR388, Samus Aran finds herself infected by a parasitic organism later dubbed the X. Galactic Federation scientists save her life with a vaccine developed from the baby Metroid's preserved DNA. After regaining consciousness, the bounty hunter is assigned to investigate an explosion aboard the Biologic Space Laboratories station, where large portions of her surgically removed Power Suit were…

  • Alien³

    Alien³

    METROID/ALIEN MARATHON, PART 3 OF 4

    NOTE: This is the definitive version of an earlier review.

    THE GAME: Super Metroid (1994) [played on Super Nintendo]

    THE PLOT: Samus Aran delivers the Metroid hatchling to Ceres Space Academy, where scientists hope to utilize its powers for the good of galactic civilization. Soon after leaving, she receives a distress signal. Ceres has been decimated by Ridley, who steals the baby and returns to Zebes!

    THE REVIEW: Every aspect of this perfectly designed…

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  • The Stranger by the Beach

    The Stranger by the Beach

    Technically accomplished on an aesthetic level but too generic for my tastes. Voice actors' performances sound overcooked and there's no sense of atmosphere. Characters grapple with dramatic events and past trauma on a superficial level. The secret ingredient that separates talented filmmakers from studio hacks is knowing how to modulate each element of a movie, including its subtleties. The Stranger by the Beach felt like a lot of other yaoi anime, despite source material that reportedly strives to present a…

  • Dou kyu sei – Classmates

    Dou kyu sei – Classmates

    Exceptional direction that occasionally utilizes split screen panels. More anime should adapt manga in this manner because it's like watching the page drawings come to life. Vibrant colors and a distinctive art style make the film a pleasure to look at. The warm, understated, realistic tone works perfectly for me. So adorable! It's not an obnoxious boys' romance exclusively targeting female audiences. Dividing Dou kyu sei into vignettes based on seasons or important events in Hikaru and Rihito's lives was…

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  • School of Rock

    School of Rock

    I used to really like this film.

    Back in the day, I worked at Hollywood Video. For those of you who are too young to know what this business was, it allowed people to rent VHS tapes and DVDs inside a brick & mortar store, for stupidly high prices with ridiculous late fees that would cause customers to yell at me.

    Anyway, one of my co-workers was Rob. All things considered, he's a cool guy. But Rob was/is a huge Jack…

  • Sleeping Beauty

    Sleeping Beauty

    My mom once told me that when I was about three years old, I stood up in a restaurant and loudly recited the following line from this movie:

    "Now shall you deal with me, O Prince—and all the powers of HELL!"